Happy New Year

There are just too many choices of end of year recap/new year prediction/favorite things/best of kinds of blog posts--the possibilities are overwhelming me and taking away any urge to post at all. So I'm just going to do a hodge-podge of random end of year/new year things and hope for the best.

Best Things of 2009

1. My Macbook. I could pretty much stop this list right here--that's how good it is.

It is, in fact, so good that I can't think of any other best thing of the year. I'll have to come back to that part.

Resolutions for 2010

1. See 2 movies in 1 day. I was originally going to go for 3 movies in 1 day, but I think that's a bit much for me, so I'm going to settle for 2.

Again, I'm coming up dry...that's the only resolution I can think of right now.

Favorite blog posts of 2009

1. Ask And Ye Shall Receive review of this blog. Call me a masochist but I love this review, even though it's totally reaming me up the a$$ for being a crappy blogger.


2. What if Your Personal Brand is your P*ssy. Sorry but if that's not the best title of a blog post ever, I don't know what is.


3. Gen Whine in the House. I haven't gotten that riled up about something in a while.


4. I Used to be Way Funnier. Sadly, it's true.

That said, maybe I should add to my list of resolutions that I'll try to go back to blogging about stuff other than social media. Then again, the only time anyone other than my mom and sister read my posts is when I blog about social media. Sigh.

At any rate, to any of you reading this post now, I wish you a fabulous, healthy 2010. (pronounced two thousand ten; not twenty ten, just fyi.)

Tiger Again

I usually don't read the Washington Post Sports section but this morning--as he was eating the delicious breakfast squares I made (in case you follow me on Twitter or Facebook and all my cooking/baking of late is confusing you, this is the one time of year when I suddenly am seized with the desire to cook and bake so I do it a lot...maybe this will be the year the habit sticks and I start doing it year-round..)--Patrick said "read this" and pushed the Sports section at me. "Of Tiger Woods and the man in the mirror" (sorry, I think you have to register (it's free!) on the Washington Post website to read this but it's worth it) is an interesting, if slightly confusing in it's veiled-ness, read. Basically the author is fessing up to his own sex addiction and saying that, in "the culture of the elite athlete...infidelity isn't merely condoned, it's strongly encouraged."

I say bravo to this guy and he's right. He talks about "bored, rich alpha males on the road for 270 days a year" and how infidelity is "an equal-opportunity addiction, costing manicured, polished stars such as Pitino their coiffed reputations and unknown, dumpy software salesmen their families and jobs."

At any rate, it was a good article.

Happy Holidays

I tried to find a really cute Japanese holiday-themed video, but they were all like 5 minutes long and looked more like anime porn clips than cute cartoons so we'll have to make do with this. Just pretend it features a holiday tune and wish yourself a merry Christmas and happy new year from me!

FIO Blogging=Posterous

I have found the winning FIO combo in life: AudioBoo plus Posterous. Audioboo has an iPhone app, which means you just dictate into your phone--as if you're talking on the phone, just to yourself--then it automatically posts the resulting stream-of-conscious genius to Posterous (a FIO version of blogging where you can post via email or voicemail).

The only crying shame of the whole arrangement is that you can't post from Audioboo to Blogger--because if you could you'd be hearing a lot more from me. As it is, I tried it yesterday and posted to Posterous, so I'll have to settle for posting to Posterous than taking the extra step of writing some perfunctory post in here linking to it over there. Like this.

Or you could just subscribe to my Posterous.....

Good Things

Just a few random recommendations for you:

• Awesome blog I just learned about--if you like The Bloggess, you'll want to read More is Better. Because the more hilarious bloggers out there who swear way worse than I personally dare to, the better.


• I'm on disk 9-the last disk--of The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank and I seriously might cry when it's over because it's so good.

I haven't shared any videos lately; let's see what I can find....



Ok, me and my sister might be the only ones who think that's entertaining...now, here's one EVERYONE would find entertaining



Ok, so I made that one and I'm the one who finds it entertaining...better quit while I'm ahead.

My Advice to Tiger Woods

Patrick told me that Tiger Woods has announced that he's taking an "indefinite break" from pro golf because he's so mortified about the world finding out he's a cheater. This is what I have to say to him: who the fuck cares? You are not the first man on the planet to ever be outed as a cheater, a pervert and an asshole. Get over yourself and don't be such a pussy. Moping around your house and/or cowering from the media isn't going to put your marriage and/or family back together and it just diminishes you further in the eyes of the world. Go back to work, act like nothing happened, and next week some other celebrity will do something stupid and we'll all forget your indiscretions.

Guest Post By Matthew

My 11 year-old son is sick with strep...again. I'm sitting with him on the sofa and I asked if he wanted to write a guest post and he said yes, so I'm turning this post over to him:

I'm sick and I don't feel good :( I have been bored ALL DAY LONG. I hope I get better soon. Bye bye.

I'm Ok

I didn't mean to freak anyone out with my last post. Living with depression is like living with diabetes or any other chronic ailment--you get used to it (ok, maybe that's insensitive of me to compare to an illness I've never lived with...you know I don't mean it in a bad way). You have times you feel fine and times you are far from fine, but if you're willing to accept that no, you're not just imagining it and no, you can't just snap out of it and actually address it, you have a way better chance of living a relatively horrible-dip-free existence.

Why am I writing about this all the sudden, anyway? A) because there are so many people blogging about social media that I myself am pretty sick of blogging about it so I'm sure other people are twice as sick of it as I am and b) because I am trying to do my part to de-stigmatize depression. NAMI is the first and only non-professional association I've ever paid to join and I joined because I applaud what they're doing. I am particularly impressed with their Stigma Busters program.

In keeping with my periodic book theme, here are two great books about depression:

1. The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression


2. Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression

*Disclosure since now it's required by the FTC: I do participate in the Amazon affiliate program; however, I am too lazy to remember how to do their links so these are just plain old links to Amazon--I won't make a penny if you buy the books. And I wish I could say I got either the NAMI membership or the books for free, but nope, no such luck. Isn't blogging a blast when you have to disclose minutiae like this?

Depression Sucks

If you read this blog--or know me in real life--you know I'm a very TMI person (much to the chagrin of my dear mother). My life is an open book for the most part...and not just because I like attention. I actually am a shy-ish person and don't love attention, but one thing I honestly believe is sharing my own experiences if it helps someone else. Because most people don't talk about stuff and suffer in silence, which is heroic and all, but you only live once...why live it in silent desperation when you could just spit out what's troubling you, deal with it and move on?

So it's in this spirit that I'm writing about depression, something I don't really write or talk about but something I deal with. Sometimes it's fine, sometimes it's horrible...and this time of year it usually switches over to some version of horrible. The shorter days or whatever, I guess....all I know is I hate it and wish it was a feeling I'd never experienced. Or that could at least be banished with regular use of the magical pills they make for this purpose. Sadly, though, that's not the case. They work fine...until they suddenly just don't work fine anymore. Which is what's happening in my world right now and it sucks. Nothing like starting a new job, trying to enjoy the coming holidays with my family--oh, and of course dealing with stuff like kids with strep or tooth abscesses or ex-husbands who make you want to pull your hair out but you have to just breathe it out and do nothing because that's what good divorced moms do--then getting knocked down by a big ol' wave of depression.

Dealing with depression--especially when you're a grown up with a job and a husband and kids and a house to keep--is like having a broken leg (or maybe two, depending on how bad it is) and having to walk to the doctor by yourself. While smiling and looking like nothing's wrong with you. You can't tell anyone because of the stigma of mental illness--of craziness. Any other illness people could know what you're going through, could offer to help out or at least give a sympathetic smile or something. Depression, though, you can't talk about it so nobody can know you're suffering--you have to not only figure out a way to get through it, but also have that way include looking 100% normal both at home and at work and not interfere in any way with anything else going on in your life. You can tell your boss you have a stomach flu when you have that, or a sinus infection when you have that--but you can't call in sick with depression. Or I suppose you could...but then good luck to you when they label you crazy and an employment risk.

At any rate, I'll stop now....suffice it to say that depression sucks and someone needs to invent a cure for this shit. Oh, and one that doesn't make you fat or lethargic or anorgasmic or constipated or sahara-mouthed or any of the other charming side effects you get to pick from now.

Gate Crashers

Ok, I'm out of battery so the post I was going to write about those tacky people who crashed the White House will have to wait. But come on...what the hell is wrong with people? Last time I checked we were a nation at war....am I the only one who finds it sickening and sad that what's top news is a sleazy couple crashing a State dinner and posting about it on their Facebook page?

Work-Life Balance and FIO

It's been a really long time since I've blogged about my favorite topic, FIO. (Not sure what FIO means? Clearly you need to do some homework and familiarize yourself with this blog and the dominant theme in my life.)

I have to tell you: lately my blogging has taken a distinct FIO turn. Life is just too busy--I have a new job, kids, housework, a husband, some attempts at a social life that does not take place exclusively online, some semblance of an exercise regimen that I try to stick to, etc. In short: there are only so many hours in a day--24 to be exact. And when 8 of those hours are taken up at work and 2 commuting, that leaves 14 hours. Subtract 7 from that for sleep, and that leaves 7 hours to do all of those things listed above, plus stuff like grocery shop, recreate in some way or another...oh, and keep up with blogging, twitter, Facebook and all the rest of it.

The bottom line? There are not enough hours in the day for me to get everything done that I want to get done. If I didn't care about blogging I'd just forget about it, but for whatever reason blogging is my main favorite thing to do in life. Well, writing is, and since sadly no book deal has magically materialized, blogging is about the only for-fun writing I get to do. Like anything fun that people get addicted to: scrapbooking, working out, shopping, whatever--I have gotten addicted to writing. If I don't do it I start to go crazy and I'm already crazy enough, so I've learned to just make time for it and blog regularly.

The problem is that when you're on a tight schedule like I am, sometimes your blogging suffers. Like maybe the TV is on and you're sitting on the sofa next to your husband, who's giving you the stink-eye worse and worse with every passing minute and you're rushing to finish your post so you can be done with it and he can stop sighing and making snide comments about the computer. Maybe you get distracted, or cut corners on the thought you're trying to work through via that day's blog post. The result is a half-baked blog post at best; and one that's just flat-out wrong or offensive in a way you didn't mean.

My best example of this was when I wrote a post about Chris Brogan and something he said on Twitter. I was rushing to finish because one of the kids was bugging me to HURRY UP AND GET OFF THE COMPUTER so I cut my post off short (I have no idea what it was I cut but I distinctly remember that I had a larger point but I just stopped where I was because I couldn't take the whining anymore). Next thing I know Chris Brogan is tweeting the link to my post and lambasting me in the comments. In that case it worked out ok for me because that was the most blog traffic I have ever gotten, but still, half-baked is half-baked.

So twice in the past week or so I have FIO'd a blog post on my other blog. Read this post--then read the comments. Whoops. Now same thing with the post I wrote yesterday about Comcast and customer service--I meant the post to be about the larger issue of social media and customer service being kind of at odds with each other, with social media being done by people who are truly passionate about their jobs and their companies and customer service people usually, well, not so much. Then Social Media Today picked it up and suddenly a "meh" post in obscurity was seen by thousands of people.

Now Matthew (my 11 year-old son) has strep, I'm sick with something, the work-week has started, Thanksgiving is coming...and I have comments to respond to and need to email the poor Comcast guy to explain that I really didn't mean to take pot shots at him or Comcast in particular--I meant to talk about customer service in general and include other examples like Sprint, etc...but I was pressed for time and hit "publish post" before I'd finished my thoughts.

Sigh. Welcome to my world.

Sunday Catch-Up

Ok--so that last post was a cheat, sorry about that. So much for my blogging every day in November idea...you know the intent was there, right?

Aside from starting a new job last week--which includes a daily round-trip commute to/from Tysons--here's what I've been up to, in case you're wondering:

• My last living grandmother died last Wednesday. Sad but also a relief--she was 97 and was on the decline for years now, then had a stroke a few weeks ago from which she never would have recovered. The good part of it was that it meant my sister, Cassie, came home for the weekend, so we got to spend Friday evening together--a rare treat.


• Speaking of Cassie and Friday, we went to see Precious. Mimi insisted on coming too, which, if you know Mimi, was totally out of character--she's usually not the most social kid on the planet. So I continued my WPE legacy and let her go to see Precious, which was, um, thematically mature, to say the least. For all the hype the movie got I have to say I wasn't that impressed--I gave it about a 6.5. Mo'nique was AWESOME, however.


• I just finished Augusten's new book, You Better Not Cry. It was like an early Christmas gift in its perfection; it's been a while since he's had a book of short stories out and these stories do not disappoint. I'm sad, though, because according to Augusten on Twitter, he and Dennis have broken up. Knowing this, I admit the last story in the book depressed me. But here's hoping for a Christmas miracle that they get back together.


• The main benefit (aside from time to actually have a phone conversation) of a long commute is being able to listen to audiobooks. The multi-tasker in me loves that I'm able to "read" two books at once--one actual book and one audiobook. I just finished Elizabeth Berg's We Are All Welcome Here and highly recommend it. If you need a happy ending to help you get through the holidays (not THAT kind! Nasty.) this is a great choice. Actually, if you want the most relaxing Christmas book EVER, it's Miss Read's Christmas at Thrush Green.


• Speaking of relaxing, my sister introduced me to this website and it's very relaxing in a hypnotic kind of way. If I had any free time, I'd be wasting it playing with that sand.


• 
  

Best Video Ever

I wish to GOD I had a kid who could dance like this:

Fighting for Preemies

Did you know today is National Prematurity Awareness Day?

I am extremely lucky--even though Matthew was born almost 4 weeks early, by some miracle his lungs were fully developed and he suffered no ill effects from being born early (unless you count the fact that he didn't have nipples yet...apparently nipples don't develop until like 38 weeks gestation--bet you didn't know that.) However, he, like Mimi, did suffer from a serious form of jaundice and had to be in the NICU for 3 days. To this day--and that was over 11 years ago--I remember the tiny preemies in their incubators and my heart goes out to anyone who has to go through that.

I add my voice to the over 400 other bloggers who are posting today about the Fight for Preemies. While I was lucky enough to have 2 healthy kids, I know how many others out there are not so lucky. Or who had some really close calls, like my best friend Sadie. At her 20 week ultrasound, the doctor told her everything looked great and was walking out of the room when she happened to glance back over her shoulder. The ultrasound tech had taken one last pass over my friend's abdomen before turning it off and something about the shot caught the doctor's eye. She told the tech hold on, go back. She pressed my friends abdomen and realized with horror that her cervix was almost fully dilated on the inside--the uterus-facing side. Had Sadie gotten up off that table and walked out of that office she would have given birth within a few days and there's no way her baby would have survived.

She spent the weekend on bed rest at home, then returned on Monday for another ultrasound. The dilation was worse and they hospitalized her immediately, where she remained on inverted bed rest for 2 weeks. At about 22 weeks the doctor performed a cerclage--sewed her cervix closed--and sent Sadie home, where she remained on bed rest for 12 more weeks. When she gave birth to full-term baby girl, the doctor confided that when she'd done the cerclage, her cervix had been 100% effaced and dilated and the baby's tiny, tiny feet--encased in the amniotic sac--were protruding into her vagina! The doctor said that there was basically no chance the baby would survive but she had just sewn her up and not said anything, not wanting to upset her. But miracles do happen, and that baby is a healthy, happy kid today, thanks to that doctor's perseverance and Sadie's almost 20 weeks of bed rest.

Blogging for Pay is BS

I know, I know--I'm a hypocrite: I wrote that blogging for money is like making your husband pay you for sex then next thing you know, my other blog, Mizz Information, is sporting shiny new Blogher ads. I know you won't believe me but I was curious to see how much money people actually make running ads so I caved and signed up for Blogher ads because I respect Blogher. I have to say, though, that almost 5 months in I am not impressed with the blogging-for-profit model as it relates to ads.

Here's my problem with it. I know money is changing hands in the whole equation because big brands run Blogher ads: Volvo, Sprint, Sony, Smuckers, Samsung, Phillips, Febreze, Cheer, Nickelodean, Pepperidge Farms, Loreal, Lego, Kraft, Estee Lauder, Ford...these are all actual brands whose ads have been featured on my blog over the past 5 months. I may know little to nothing about advertising but I know this: brands pay big money for it. In magazines, on TV, in newspapers and now, on blogs. I don't know how much they pay but I know this much: it's something.

This is what I do know: the total I've earned for running these big-brand ads on my blog over an almost 5-month period is $18. Actually, I can't really count it as earnings because they don't cut you a check until you reach $25.

I'm torn; on one hand, I don't like that Blogher is presumably making thousands off each of those brands--for all I know, tens of thousands, yet I, the content creator and publisher, am making pennies. At the same time, Blogher does frequently feature my posts at the bottom of the ads, therefore driving traffic to my site, which I do value. But I'm talking single-digit traffic, here; in other words, peanuts in the grand scheme of things.

I guess I need to figure out how important it is to me to have my blog be either ad-free or generating some kind of measurable income; because it's going to have to be one or the other, not both. I'm not in the business of giving huge brands free advertising on my blog--they don't need handouts from me and I don't need to look like a sellout yet having nothing to show for it.

Penelope Trunk....Yes, Again

I'm not even going to bother searching this blog for posts to link to to prove my point that I'm obsessed with Penelope Trunk--if you read regularly you already know and if you don't you'll either have to take my word for it or search yourself. Anyway, my point is--I am obsessed with Penelope Trunk. And my worship of her just got two levels deeper today upon reading these two posts.

I'm telling you--she might be crazy but DAMN she ROCKS.

FauxPaw The Techno Cat

Ok, so yes this is taking the easy way out, but it's 10:20 pm and my idea of a blog post tonight is share the first thing I clicked on from Twitter tonight. Hat tip to Ben Martin's daughter!

It Takes a Village

The one positive aspect of divorce is that, if both you and your spouse are re-married (or re-coupled) there are suddenly four parents in the equation rather than two. Granted, sometimes the merit of that equation is not appreciated by the kids--like when all four of us show up at their sports events. But now that my ex actually speaks to Patrick it's not bad; while we won't be going on double dates anytime soon or having extended "family" dinners together, it's actually quite civil.

Mimi is not one for affection in any case and let's just say the ex's girlfriend has had a hard time of it this past almost-year, since he introduced her to the kids last January. But tonight is a historic night: the night that Mimi voluntarily went somewhere with the girlfriend. Just the two of them. Well, actually, three of them--Mimi brought a friend. What prompted this outing? The girlfriend managed to get tickets to the Miley Cyrus concert.

Now, that right there is proof that there is something to be said for having two mother-figures, because I'm telling you right now: hell would FREEZE OVER before I'd take her to a Miley Cyrus concert. Or any other concert, for that matter.

Hopefully Mimi will realize how hard this woman is trying and cut her some slack.

Not a Novel But....

Ok, so I can't commit to National Novel Writing Month....maybe I'll try National Blog Posting Month and actually post in here this month.

Unfortunately for you it will probably be about stuff like the fact that, despite trying my best to fight it, I remain shamefully obsessed with Jon and Kate. I don't watch the show anymore--the show itself actually sucks--but have been sucked into the tabloid drama of them. I'm telling you--it's the hair. People joke about her hair and say how horrible it is--for some reason I'm obsessed with it. The hair, the drama...it's just all so addictive for some reason.

Anyway, I usually don't watch the show--I don't like to give TLC the satisfaction of counting me as a viewer because I think the whole thing (despite my obsession) is horseshit. I guess it's the breaking up of their family that plays on my divorce guilt strings or something, because I am weirdly emotionally tied to their breakup--I feel personally let down and violated even though these may as well be cartoon characters. Maybe it's easier to watch other people go through divorce and feel sad than to look at your own situation too closely.

At any rate, I made the mistake of watching Kate--Her Story tonight. Mistake because a) her hair is all messed up and I'm sad about it; b) TLC got the satisfaction of sucking me in despite my best intentions to forever avoid tuning into that channel and c) because it's impossible to feel sympathy or harbor anything approximating a good feeling for Kate when you hear her talk. I try to believe she honestly cares about what's best for her kids--god knows she pays constant lip-service to it--but she is just so caught up in the fame and the money that it is painfully obvious that lip-service is all it is.

I had to turn it off when she pulled out photos of the kids she barely sees anymore since she's so busy with her public speaking, TV appearances, etc--and started going on about how can anyone question her devotion to her kids--after all, from the time she was 7 weeks pregnant till she was 30 weeks, she was on constant bedrest and didn't even EAT certain foods for fear of it harming her precious babies. Come on, lady--are you kidding me? She then went on to say that she HAS to continue doing TV because it is the ONLY way she can support her family. She literally said that it is her ONLY career option. Whatever--don't ask me why it riles me up so much but it does. Something about the whole situation just pushes my buttons. I swear it's enough to send me back to therapy....if only I had the time.

Boo

What's new with you? Here's what's new with me:

• Successfully dodged my least favorite holiday--Halloween--last night.


• I have a new job--starting Nov. 9. Woo hoo!


• Augusten has a new book: You Better Not Cry. I am torn between trying to plow through the stash of books accumulating on my nightstand and buying his book today and putting it at the top of the pile. The pile might tip over, however.


• November is National Novel Writing Month. What's the percent chance I write one? I'd say about zero. But maybe I'll surprise you. My sister Cassie is writing one, though, so all will not be lost if I don't.


• I'm feeling very fancy today because if you do a search for "social media salaries" on Twitter right now, every single tweet is about the blog post I wrote. Gotta get your thrills in life somehow, right?


• If you were impressed by that last bullet point, here's my other recent claim to fame: I am featured in an interview in this month's issue of Associations Now magazine.


• Over the past 24 hours, I've developed an increasingly-annoying twitch in my lower left eyelid. What's up with that? I pray it doesn't turn into the year and a half long saga my last eye twitch did.


• I need to turn off this computer and get my ass on the treadmill.

Mother Blogger

Or I should say, mother OF a blogger. My 13 year-old daughter--nicknamed Wednesday--is a great writer. I have been encouraging her to start blogging and she finally decided it would be a good way to document her interesting dreams.

So with no futher ado go enjoy the first installment of Wednesdays' Dreams.

If It Bends...

I am such a delinquent Woody Allen fan that I can't remember which movie this quote came from; I do, however remember the character who said it was played by Alan Alda.

"If it bends, it's funny. If it breaks, it isn't."

Ok, ok, I won't be that lazy--let me go look it up.....

It was in Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Sadly, Patrick hates Woody Allen so I never get to watch his movies anymore--I'll have to work on that.

Anyway, back to my original point. This thing with David Letterman and the whole extortion scandal? Fodder for Letterman to be talking about on his show or not? On one hand, I love it that he's not letting this guy get away with extorting him (can you use extortion as a verb like that?). The guy must have thought he was just brilliant and his plan was failproof--of course David Letterman would pay him $2 million to keep his escapades from the public. But fuck that--good for Letterman for doing the unexpected and outing himself and taking the humiliation rather than let that crazy guy exploit him.

Here's the thing, though--while I personally don't care if he cheated and I still think he's funny, what he's on TV to do is entertain people--not make them squirm. The first time he brought up the whole thing it was out of necessity--of course he's going to take advantage of the fact that however many millions of people were tuned in watching his show--what better time to beat the extortion guy to the punch. And the few jokes about the situation last Monday--"I spent the weekend raking hate mail" etc--ok, funny and an ice-breaker. But the plaintive admissions of how tough things are in his marriage, how hurt his wife is, etc--not funny. If there ever were a clear illustration of the point at which something bends (e.g. is funny) and breaks (not funny anymore), it is the 2 minute mark in this video.

While neither funny nor related--and also probably not even interesting to most of you but for some reason I'm sort of obsessed with it- the whole Jon & Kate thing is related in the sense that TLC needs to realize that it is no longer appropriate to air that show at all, even in the proposed "Kate plus 8" format. Maybe it's because I've been through a divorce and know first-hand how ugly it is and how nobody in their right mind would want to be a bystander to that, but the way the whole thing has gone down with Jon and Kate and TLC and the show and the tabloids and just all of it makes me incredibly sad for those kids.

If there's one cardinal rule of divorce that anybody should be able to understand, it's that no matter what goes down between the parents, you don't bring that ugliness to your kids. You may hate your ex or soon-to-be-ex and fervently wish he or she was dead; you may be incredulous that a person you once cared about enough to marry and procreate with can be this crazy or greedy or irrational or selfish or hateful or [insert your own negative characteristic here], but you always have to remember that this person who you loathe or who has caused you pain is still your kid's mom or dad and you don't put that on your kid. You just don't. They have enough to deal with adjusting to life with divorced parents. So for Jon and Kate to bring their ugliness to the whole world, and therefore into their kids' lives forever, is, in my opinion, inexcuseable. I will grant them that sometimes your emotions get the better of you and your judgement is impaired--and that's where I blame TLC for letting this whole thing keep spinning out.

What are they thinking, re-branding the show as "Kate Plus 8"? Because what those kids really need is the whole world to watch as they struggle with life after their parents' divorce? For everyone to think their dad has abandoned them?

You Must See Capatalism: A Love Story

I admit it--I'm biased--I LOVE Michael Moore. Remember my post about Sicko? I'm telling you--a) if you haven't already seen Sicko by now, you better rent it tonight. Especially given this whole health care reform thing. You know I don't like to talk politics or anything approximating anything political because it just pisses me off too much and I get all agitated and start talking too fast and too much and yelling and then can't sleep at night because I'm all riled up. So I will digress because I'm already veering off-topic...but just rent Sicko and see if you still don't think there should be universal health care in this country. INCLUDING a public option.

Anyway, back to my original thought--b) if you live in this country you need to see Capatalism. I will grant you that it's not as tight as some of his other movies and it took a while for even me--Micheal Moore-loving and gullible as all hell--to get sucked in, but he eventually got down to it and the result is a movie that makes me basically sad and embarassed to live in a country where shit like he reveals in the movie goes on.

**Spoiler alert, but not really because the movie will still be good**

Have you noticed that over the past few years there have been a lot more plane crashes than there used to be? I have commented to Patrick about this a bunch of times. It just seems like you never really used to hear about plane crashes, then in just the past few years, it seems like there have been a bunch. Anyway--when I saw Capitalism I realized there is a total correlation between what Michael Moore reveals and why there are more crashes. Namely--that pilots make no money and often have to either work second jobs, take extra shifts or, as one pilot in the movie explains, sometimes even sell their plasma to make ends meet. Yes, that's right--that dude who's flying you from NYC to LA may have just spent yesterday selling half his blood matter, which means he may not be in tip-top shape at 30,000 feet. I'll spare you the details but go see the movie and tell me if I'm crazy or you think there may be a grain of truth to what I'm thinking. That while airline CEOs are making a mint, the pilots are making less than McDonald's managers and subsisting on food stamps and second jobs. Sure makes me not ever want to fly again.

Worse yet are the "Dead Peasants" insurance policies. This guy explains it better than I would. You tell me why it is ok that something like this exists and why companies are ok with purchasing it? And cry me a river that Wal-Mart has apparently now cancelled these kinds of policies; like they should get a gold star for having done something as corrupt as this but cancelling it once the general public heard about it and the company's reputation was tarnished as a result. That's real noble. Did Walmart also give back the money to each dead employee's family?

Anyway, go see the movie. Check out Michael Moore's website. And pass it on.

I Asked And I Received

I am either stupid or have a very thick skin, because even though Ask And Ye Shall Receive totally slayed me and my blog, I think the review is hilarious.

The thing is--they're totally right.

Divorce Sucks

I'm supposed to be taking a self-imposed break from the internet for 24 hours but the book I'm reading isn't very riveting (or, I should say, books: Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed; Dr. Laura's In Praise of Stay Home Moms; Chris Brogan's Truth Agents--library for the first two and won the third on a contest on Twitter). That and, to be honest, I'm sad and distracted and can't concentrate on much of anything right now. Why? Because after 3 years of being divorced and struggling with custody issues, trying to do what's best for my kids and, admittedly, also wanting to avoid $30,000 in legal fees, I'm realizing I may not be able to avoid it. I don't usually go this TMI on this blog--or at least I haven't for a while--but tonight I just feel like it and, since I think I've skipped posting in here for long enough that nobody much is reading anymore, it feels like as good a place as any to air this.

The reason divorce sucks is because there are no easy answers. The kids are supposed to be with me tonight. At 7 their dad brings Mimi here. Not Matthew. Lately has been deciding that since Mimi won't stay with him anymore (long story...bottom line she basically sleeps at my house full-time now, with his consent) Matthew should stay with him more (NOT with my consent). So tonight he told Mimi let's go, didn't tell Matthew they were leaving, and he dropped Mimi here. I called his house and Matthew answered, said he didn't know daddy had even left. Here's the thing: what the hell do you do in this situation? Poor Matthew is trapped in the middle. I can't seem upset or mad to him or he'll feel bad and think it's his fault. I can't call Eric to discuss it because when I tried twice, Matthew picked up both times and I didn't want to let on to him I'm upset. If I kick up a fuss and get into it with Eric--or even if I calmly request that he bring Matthew to my house as is mandated by the custody agreement--it will make Matthew feel bad. So instead Matthew is there and I'm here and Eric gets away with this for the millionth time.

I already spent $500 having my lawyer send Eric a letter a few months ago telling him that I was "concerned about your unilateral changes in the custodial arrangements" and that if he didn't start sticking to the court-ordered custody schedule I'd be "forced to take stronger measures." Obviously the letter meant nothing to him; now it's on me to either allow my kid to slip away from me without protest or put him through some version of Kramer Vs. Kramer. Either way it sucks--I guess it's on me to decide which sucks least and do that. Which, at this point, looks like it's probably the expensive, potentially traumatic for the kids custody battle option.

Sigh. Wish us luck.

Long Time No Here

Well hello there children!

Long time no see/blog at. I'm afraid I continue to become increasingly boring, blogging only about social media. The thing is that it turns out it's so much easier to write regularly if I am confined by a certain topic. I never realized how much easier it is to write that way, but it's like ordering off a menu--the more choices there are, the harder it is to pick one.

But I digress.

Nothing much new here. Another summer over. Had lots of fun, read lots of books, saw lots of movies. I copied the deluxe Shelfari feature from my sister, Cassie's, blog so you can see what I'm reading there. They need to invent one for movies and I'd never have to write a word--just click on the pictures and add them to my shelf.

Well, that's about all I got right now...I'm going to try to branch out and write over here more so we'll see how that pans out.

Example #1001 Of Why I Am A WPE

See this article in the WSJ called "Pursuing an Academic Edge at Home"?

Yeah, um,...I would never be pursuing an academic edge at home.

I worry about plenty of stuff, but one thing I can emphatically say I never worried about was my kids' math skills when they were 6. Or any age, for that matter.

Here's my thing: am I the only one who thinks that a better solution for a parent who is obsessed with their 6 year-old's math prowess would be Prozac? For the parent, that is; not the kid.

Dirty Moms

(I wrote this back in April but for some reason never posted it. Nothing better than stumbling across an already written blog post!)

I am not a morning person at all but have unfortunately had to become one--what with working and having to get kids to school. I have also had to become a morning exerciser, which is even worse than being just a regular early-riser. The thing I use as a carrot to get me on the treadmill at 6 am are my recorded TV shows: Oprah, Mad Men (I just keep watching the second season over and over), Intervention, etc.

So I was excited when I saw the Oprah line-up in the DVR: The Secret Lives of Moms. You know I'm all about hearing people's dirty secrets. And it was Oprah so of course it was going to be totally sensationalized--even better.

But I turned it on this morning and these were some of the "dirty" secrets Oprah's guests were revealing:

"Sometimes when I read to my kid at night I skip pages."

"Once, when I was on a 7-hour drive with the kids asleep in the back, I had to pee in a diaper."

"Sometimes I don't shower for a week."

"I bought the food for my kid's birthday party at the fast-food drive through."

Are you fucking kidding me? This is what you call dirty secrets? And bad mom confessions? Come on, Oprah--I expect more from you.

How about the moms whose diaper bags are actually full of those tiny liquor bottles like you get on an airplane? The ones who meet guys on the internet then meet them in the parking lot at the mall to have sex in the minivan? The ones who blow their doctors in exchange for Botox? The ones who embezzle money from the PTA, or steal jewelry from their best friends' houses or sleep with their neighbor's husbands? Or sleep with the other moms in playgroup? Or something--anything better than "Some days I just really don't enjoy taking care of my kids." You and every other mom on the planet.

Oprah's version of mom confessions should be like an episode of the Family Guy, where baby Stewie listens to the confessions and says "Oh, right--I get it--you're saying you're a bad mom because you skip pages when you read to your kid at night but you really mean look how great I am for reading to my kid at night in the first place."

Happy 4th

Whew, I'm coming over here to escape the drama shitstorm happening on my other blog right now. Apparently the secret to big blog activity is insulting internet big-wigs. All I know is that I think I just might make enough money off blogging this month to buy a #1 meal at McDonald's thanks to this whole exchange. I think I make $5 per 1,000 page impressions with BlogHer ads on that blog, and I think in the past 24 hours I've gotten over 500. Don't let anyone try to tell you making money blogging is easy--or for the thin-skinned. There are plenty of other ways to make $5 that don't involve having 20+ strangers point out what a stupid asshole you are for daring to criticize an internet celeb.

I'm tellin' you, it's hard out here for a pimp.

Compare blogging as a way of making money to being a lawyer--yesterday I had to visit one to address some custody issues that I'm getting sick of dealing with. His hourly rate? $325. If you want to make money, clearly being a lawyer is the way to go over blogging.

Anyway, a lot has happened since I last posted. Jon and Kate are no more, for one. I've seen a ton of movies--I can't even keep track anymore. Off the top of my head:
Transformers--rocked
Public Enemies--didn't exactly suck but was kind of a yawner
The Hangover--was pretty funny but not hysterical or anything
The Taking of Pelham 123--ROCKED
Night at the Museum--was ok
Land of the Lost--SUCKED. Sadly.
Angels & Demons--I think it pretty much rocked--saw it a while ago
Star Trek--rocked

Off the top of my head, that's all I can remember.

Just read an awesome book--Look Me In the Eye: My Life with Aspergers by Augusten's brother, John Elder Robison. I LOVE this book and was sad when it ended. I sort of figured it probably just got published because he's Augusten's brother, but I have to say the book totally holds its own and he holds his own as a writer. He better be working on his next book because now I love him almost as much as I love Augusten.

I'm finally reading Ayelet Waldman's book and LOVE it so far.

One thing the combination of the blog throwdown and Ayelet Waldman's book is making me think about is social media as a career and how, while it seems to be tailor-made for women with kids (can work from home, set your own schedule, etc) I personally think it is one of the most time-consuming and intrusive careers you can pick if you're a women with kids. I'm not talking about a career like mine--doing social media for an organization; I'm talking about being a social media guru--writing books, blogging, speaking...AND keeping up with 80,0000 or more people on Twitter. Think about it--even if you're a lawyer or some other time-intensive professional--at the end of your 80 hour week at least you get to go home, play golf, watch TV, travel, whatever. If you're a social media celeb, when do you get a break? Never. Your work is YOU, basically--you are expected to be on 24/7. Ayelet Waldman's book is all about how it's impossible to be a good mother yet easy to qualify as a good dad.

I have to go to the pool with Patrick and the kids now (bad mommy blogging on 4th of July).

Tired
I keep feeling bad for neglecting this blog...and then I just keep right on neglecting it. I don't know why but it's just easier to write my other blog. I guess because I'm limited to the subject of social media--it makes it easier to narrow down the 20 million things I could be blogging about.

John and Kate Plus 8

Have you ever watched this show? Aside from drinking in Kate's hair (color=perfect; style=jury's still out), there's really no reason to watch it. A couple with 8 kids and what they do on a day to day basis. Yawn.

Yawn no more, though. Even if you don't admit to reading Star, People, US, or any of those other magazines, if you set foot in grocery stores or pharmacies, you have to admit you've at least seen the recent headlines about John and Kate. And/or seen her on the Today show.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Long story short: watching a family with 8 kids is interesting for about 8 minutes. Their 8 minutes are long over, but their family is now totally dependent on the income that the show brings in. Aside from Kate having written 2 books and doing some public speaking, the way she and John support their family is by living in the equivalent of a dollhouse with no back on TV for the whole world to watch and comment on. What happens, though, when this is your money model and people lose interest in watching you? I guess you're shit out of luck. Or, you start doing stuff that people are interested in. Like cheating on your spouse or fighting. Suddenly the worlds' ears/eyes perk up. Including mine.

So tonight I will be watching the season premier of John and Kate Plus 8, but not with baited breath like the rest of the world. I know the whole thing is a ruse. The producers of this show sat down with John and Kate a season ago and told them look, you're boring. If you don't want to have to go get real jobs like the rest of the world, you're going to have to let us write some drama and scandal into your scripts. So John will be playing the part of guilty cheating husband, just praying that his kids aren't old enough to realize what a pansy sell-out he is for not putting his foot down and telling his wife enough is enough, get the fucking cameras out of our house or I'm leaving. And Kate will be playing the poor, victimized mom who just wants the best for her family--even though she has not one ounce of respect for her husband and is gladly letting this show ruin her family because she can't stand the thought of letting go of the gravy train.

In the meantime, if you're looking for some entertainment, go have a look at the comment section of this mommy blog post. When they cancel John and Kate Plus 8 at the end of this season, I hope they start a reality show about feuding mommy bloggers.

Oh, and you know I am submitting my blogs to be reviewed by "Ask And Ye Shall Receive." Check out the url; how could you not be curious? And I promise not to go mommy-blogger on them if they skewer me.

Mommy Bloggers

I don't know why but recently I've become fixated on the whole mommy blogger thing. In case you have no idea what I'm talking about when I say mommy bloggers, I'm talking about Power Moms who companies are falling all over themselves trying to woo into hawking their products and services. I'm talking about women like Jessica Gottlieb, who get invited to the American Idol finale and party, and Jessica Smith, who is a Ford Flex spokesmom and gets to do stuff like be flown to Santa Barbara to stay at the Four Seasons hotel, work out with Oprah Winfrey's personal trainer and receive makeovers as part of a 30-day challenge on an upcoming fitness video program for the Nintendo Wii. This is how these ladies roll.

How lucky are they? Or...are they?

First of all, there seems to be a lot of heat on the collective mommy bloggers lately--the FTC is in the process of revising their guidelines relating to bloggers, based, it seems, largely on the tons of moms out there who are endorsing products on their blogs. I've already written about this stuff in my other blog so I won't rehash it here, except to say that, as you can see from those three posts, I'm not really feeling the whole blogging for money thing. Or I didn't think I was.

I honestly don't know, though--I mean, it depends how much money we're talking I guess. If I were able to make a reliable income blogging and do it full time, would I? Especially if my kids were little and it meant I could be home with them? If it meant I got stuff like free trips to Disney for the whole family and other free stuff and cool perks, would I feel differently? I'm kind of thinking yes.

What I do know is this: where there are women, there is drama. Rivalry. Cattyness. How could there not be? We're talking about not only women, but moms--the most judgemental population imaginable. Now in addition to criticizing each others' choices about parenting, breastfeeding and working outside the home, they can criticize each others' blogging styles and methods.

Honestly, it's better than TV.

The White House is Now a Black House

If you read this blog you know I'm obsessed with movies about black families. I love them--read that post if you want to know why. (Mimi is sitting next to me while I'm writing this, muttering "racist!" because I said "black families"--but you know I don't mean it like that.)

Anyway, I just heard that the Obamas are having a poetry slam at the White House tonight and I couldn't help but think that no white presidential family ever had stuff like poetry slams. Or comedians saying totally irreverent things at White House dinners.



Let me tell you this: if I could go back in time I would go back and reverse my stance on not voting and vote for Obama because he ROCKS. I stand officially corrected (go ahead and gloat, Beth.)

Calling All Worst Parents Ever: This Book's For You

Hey moms--despite your best efforts did you fail to earn Best Parent Ever status yet again this year? Not sure? Take a look at my Worst Parent Ever scale and see if you can hang with the WPEs. If you can, you'll probably want to read Ayelet Waldman's new book "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace."

Ayelet Waldman earned herself a place in the WPE hall of fame when she admitted, in an article in the New York Times, that she loved her husband more than her kids. Oh, and that she actually enjoys having sex with her husband and they do it more than twice a year for his birthday and their anniversary. Her admission set the BPE world on fire and landed her on the Oprah show. Surprised at the fury her statement incited, she did what any WPE in her situation (e.g. smart and already famous) would do: wrote a book about it.

Talk about a genius idea for a book--what mom WON'T want to buy this book? After all, doesn't every woman, no matter how bad a mom she fears she may be, want to read about one who's worse than she is?

The Power of a Big Mouth

I'm thinking that it's probably time to move the post with the p-word down a notch, no?

I would say nothing much is new and/or exciting, but actually the past two days have been sort of exciting, in a if-you-call-this-exciting-you-are-pathetic kind of way, at least. Yesterday there was a flurry of twittering and blogging about a new association website--so I added my two cents. Within like 15 minutes of me posting the link to my post on Twitter, 150 people had clicked through to it. People tweeted about it, blogged about it...and now the CEO of ASAE is blogging about it.

Guess it's a good thing I didn't call the post "The Power of WTF" as I initially started to, right?

What if Your Personal Brand is Your P*ssy?

I've said it before and I'll say it again--I love Penelope Trunk. Admittedly, she gets a little nasty sometimes--and I don't mean nasty like dirty nasty, I mean nasty like mean nasty. If you ask me, girl needs some mood stabilizers, stat, but apparently her craziness is not only her charm but her dollar value--her investing model seems to be attract blog traffic by being outrageous.

One of her ongoing ways of being outrageous is talking about her, um, girl parts. Specifically the fact that she waxes her pubic hair. Her and every other girl under the age of 30, that is--or are younger girls now kicking it old school and leaving the pre-pubescent girl look to actual pre-pubescent girls? Anyway...she seems to get a lot of mileage out of using her pubic hair stories to shock readers, investors, her lawyer, etc.

At some point, though, isn't enough enough? Is it really that interesting, on an ongoing basis, to hear about the state of her hair-down-there--or lack thereof? Today she was at it again, on Twitter:

"Brazilian today. New person doing the waxing. I didn't request the wax woman I like best; seems too intimate to admit to having a favorite."

Past pubic tweets include "Living in WI makes me out of date: A NYC friend says "Do lasers, duh," when I tell her the waxer in WI leaves hairs where mouths should be" and "For 90 minutes I'm the productivity queen: 25 emails, 14 phone calls and one twitter. While I get waxed. Everything off. First time. Ouch."

Ok we get it--your pussy is bald. Now move on.

Encore Las Vegas

Rather than blogging about our experience at the Encore in Las Vegas, I'm just posting the email I sent in response to their "Hope you enjoyed your stay!" email.

I have to say that I was extremely disappointed during our whole stay at Encore. We are repeat guests at the Wynn Towers and have received outstanding customer service there. Encore was the total opposite. When we checked in on Friday, they made no mention of the pool being closed--we had to find out when we tried to go to the pool and were turned away. When we tried to go to the European pool we were told we should have been given a pool pass at the front desk and had to go wait another 45 minutes to get it. Then at the pool, even though the regular pool was closed, thereby making the European pool much more crowded, the pool staff refused to let guests use the "reserved" seating, even though it was ALL empty.

The hotel manager had promised to upgrade our room for the inconvenience but he didn't; when I called the hotel manager to ask why they were having to turn guests away from the European pool because there wasn't enough seating even though all the "reserved" seating was empty, she just connected me to the pool manager, who was unapologetic.

The whole stay underscored the fact that Encore is just a cheap Wynn look-alike that's all show and not at all about treating guests with respect or providing quality customer service. The reason we have been repeat guests at the Wynn is because they genuinely care about guests and if there is a problem, they quickly resolve it. Encore staff obviously have not been trained in providing quality customer service and it is grimly apparent that they have no idea how guests at a supposed 5-star hotel expect to be treated.

I'm sorry to say that we will not be returning to either the Wynn or Encore on future visits--which is a shame because up until now the Wynn was our favorite hotel.

I would also suggest that you make your staff aware that, given the ease with which people can share their stories about travel and their experiences with different hotel staff via social media, they give a bit more thought to the way they treat guests. Bad customer service is a lot more of a liability when one guest can now share a bad experience with millions of people via Twitter, Facebook and blogs.

Aside from the experience curing me forever of my obsession with the Wynn, we did have a great time with our friends and a fun time in general. The only problem is that, while I think I got slots out of my system for good, I was introduced to my new favorite experience: the European pool. European=topless. Now I never want to wear a top while sunbathing again. Think that would help or hurt our chances of getting into the pool we're on the waiting list for?

Decisions, Decisions: Botox or Kindle 2?

Sadly, Strattera didn't transform me into a normal person--unless normal means not being able to wake up and work out in the morning, not being hungry ever (which mitigates the not being able to work out part), feeling like you're going to pass out half the time and feeling stoned the other half of the time. And still not able to sit and read a book for hours. Oh well--so much for that--can't say I didn't try. Guess I'll just have to live the next 40 years of my life the same as I lived the first 40: multitasking and hyper.

Nothing much else is new, mostly because I've spent the past 2 weeks either at kid events or sitting on the sofa doing what Patrick calls "the death stare"--staring into space for long periods of time.

I'm having a personal crisis today. As I've blogged about before, I'm addicted to Botox. Sorry if that makes me not only crazy and hyper but vain and stupid, but it's the truth: once you've had a perfectly smooth forehead and no crows feet, there's no going back. Luckily for me, there are plenty of others who are equally vain and stupid, because it at least brings the price down slightly when you go to a Botox party as opposed to a doctor or medspa.

A "Botox party" of course being where at least 5 other people go get shot up at the same time, which means the doctor charges less because he doesn't have to open a new vial--each vial apparently needing to be used up or thrown out and each costing a fortune. Or at least that's what they lead you to think; for all I know Botox actually isn't more expensive per drop than life itself. Peddling Botox is probably more lucrative than peddling crack, at $20-$50 (or more) a "unit"--a unit being a microdroplet, of which you need about 50 or 100 to achieve numb perfection--I figure it's a pretty good racket.

At any rate, here's my dilemma. The Botox party is tomorrow...but today, when going to Amazon to buy next month's book club book--I saw this. The Kindle 2--perfect in every way--no more books to clutter up your life or weigh you down when you travel, wirelessly grab any book out of thin air for $9.99, etc--AND it reads aloud to you if you want. Which means no more having to spend 2 hours laboriously copying library audiobooks into iTunes then another hour figuring out how to load the thing onto your iPod in the correct order.

Anyway, the Kindle 2 costs $359. Outrageous--of course I'd never buy it. But wait. I'm about to shell out at least that much to iron out my forehead for 4 months. I never think about the money part of Botox--I save that money in a separate account and, 3 or 4 times a year, pretend I'm not writing that check for $400. Why don't I just not get the Botox and buy a Kindle if I want to waste $359?

After all, who the hell is looking at me anyway? I'm 40 and married and live in Olney, MD. It's not like I'm a movie star or even a news anchor--it honestly couldn't matter less whether my forehead has lines on it or not. But I'm telling you--once you've gotten it done once, you're done for. Even if they botch it and you end up having to walk around with one eyelid drooping like a stroke patient's for 2 weeks; it's like childbirth: you forget the horrible memories and want to do it again and again.

Then there's the peer pressure of the party--the more people that come, the cheaper it is. So I don't want to be the one who makes it cost more for everyone else, right?

Sigh. Maybe I will develop some self-respect and character by tomorrow and turn my nose up at vanity and Botox forever. Or, more likely, maybe I'll win $359 when I go to Vegas next weekend and use that to buy the Kindle 2. That's in addition to the $250 I already have to win to buy an iPod Touch, of course.

Gen Whine In The House

Yesterday I made the mistake of watching a video of Penelope Trunk giving a speech about Gen-Yers in the workplace. The same now-cliche stuff about managing 20-somethings: don't expect them to "pay dues" because they'll walk if they have to do grunt work like other generations had to; keep them motivated with treats or special incentives every day or they'll walk; don't hassle them if they seem to be doing nothing but listening to iPods and web-surfing all day or they'll walk. In short, treat them with kid gloves because they are so spectacular that we can't afford to piss them off. The rationale being that they're soon going to be overtaking the workforce so we better just let them have their way.

First of all, bullshit. As far as the whole "soon all the Boomers will be retiring" thing--I think everyone knows that is no longer a valid sentiment, what with the state of the economy. Anyone who was even close to retiring a year ago is now most likely looking at another 10+ years in the workforce before they might be able to even consider retiring. And second of all, bullshit--even if they do retire there are still droves of Gen-Xers who are unemployed and willing--not to mention well-qualified--to do the jobs Gen-Yers scoff at. After all, if you have a mortgage, a car payment, credit card debt, kids, a spouse, etc--you don't have the luxury of hiding out in mom and dad's basement until you find a job that pays six figures and consists of one never-ending brainstorming session while hanging out in a treehouse or some equally cool and laid-back work environment.

Enter the blog post that set me off on this rant. Penelope Trunk has a guest poster on her blog today--a 23 year old writing about why it's smart to quit a job after just two weeks of work. The crux of her rationale being, of course, the tenet upon which the entire Gen-Y work philosophy is based: living with mom n' dad. After all, 65% of new grads do it--so of course it's a good idea.

I digress about the rest of the post; you can read it yourself. And don't miss the comments--those are some of the best parts. Here's one of my favorites:

"I quit a job after two weeks too, but I don't believe the company felt I was doing them a favor. (I was, as indicated in the post.) They are not contemplative enough to consider the possibility that they did something - actually, many things - wrong."

Like forgetting the daily reward or making you spend time at the copier?
Wait--there's more:

"Companies are no more likely than individual people to improve their attitudes or practices when something negative happens."

The "something negative" of course being that the lazy, self-centered entry level person left of his own free will, thereby sparing the company the considerable time, money and hassle it would have taken to fire that person had they and their bad attitude stayed in the job.

Call me a bitter Gen-Xer if you want--I have no problem owning that. And I'm not even one to talk about sticking it out in jobs--I'm the first to admit my resume is filled with jobs that I stayed in for a year before deciding I couldn't stand it and found something better. However, one thing I can say is that I always found a better job, always had health-insurance paid for by me--not my parents--and moving back in with them was never an option.

I've asked this in previous posts: where has the stereotype of the adult loser who lives in his parents' house gone? Have 20-somethings never seen Wedding Crashers? Stepbrothers? Failure to Launch? Call it what you will: saving money, being prudent, giving yourself the opportunity to wait for the perfect job--the fact remains that being 20- or--god-forbid--30-something and living with your parents is nothing to brag about.

Not Feeling It

Wow--I feel bad abandoning this poor blog--there's nothing but crickets going on in here lately. Between working, writing in my other blog, taking care of kids, and spending time with Patrick, there just never seems to be any time left to write in here. Not to mention any creative juices I may have had are getting used up in less creative endeavors like writing about Twitter and Facebook.

Then--as if the busy schedule weren't enough to suck the life out of this blog--enter Strattera. It's for ADHD and supposed to make you be able to concentrate like a normal person; however, for me "normal" seems to translate into "lethargic and boring." Whereas before Strattera I was able to do 20 things at once, such as work, keep up with two blogs, read a million blogs a day, stay on top of gmail and work email--AND Twitter--now it's all I can do to plod through one thing at a time. Granted, I've only been taking it for a few days--hopefully I won't be forever stuck feeling like a stoned train wreck. Not to mention nauseous and with a horrible headache.

Even in my Strattera fog I am able to stay on-topic; however--I was checking out one of my favorite websites, Crazymeds to see if the wicked headaches I've been having are a side effect of the Strattera and realized that Jerod Poore--awesome creator of Crazymeds--refers to himself as a "citizen medical expert." In other words, FIO doctor. And the thing is that he totally rocks and is actually better, smarter and far more knowledgeable about meds than any doctor I've ever known.

In fact, Jerod Poore's expertise is the reason I'm on Strattera in the first place. I met with my doctor--who charges $120 for 30 minutes--and said I'd read about Strattera and it sounded like it would work for me. He got all excited and was like I think this would actually work really well for you, etc, etc. Here I've been going to this guy for several years, every 3 months or whatever, $120 a pop, and the way it always plays out is that I look something up on crazymeds and suggest it to him and he prescribes it.

Anyway, if you ever have questions about any psychopharmalogical substance, go see what Jerod has to say about it on crazymeds. I do have to say that the layout of the site is insanely bad, but it's worth weeding through the horrible navigation because nowhere else will you find such comprehensive, detailed reviews of every single crazy med known to man.

Weekending

This weekend I have been multi-tasking the relaxation--listening to an audiobook (Jodi Piccoult's A Change of Heart), reading Anita Shreve's Testimony, maxing out on Zuma, and basically logging in an embarrassing amount of sofa time. What, no movies, you ask? Please. Patrick and I saw Push on Thursday (I gave it about a 7.5; Patrick gave it a 6.5) and today I saw Confessions of a Shopaholic (Mimi gave it a zero (shocker) and I gave it about a 6).

The thing I liked about Shopaholic was that the whole thing centered around a girl getting her dream job basically by accident. Everyone couldn't get enough of the fact that she was a total bumbler with no knowledge whatsoever of finance, yet she became more and more successful just by being quirky and doing stuff nobody else was stupid--I mean daring--enough to do. Oh, and she had big boobs and showed a LOT of cleavage. And wore really short skirts and 5" heels.

Speaking of whores--whoops--sorry to dis the shopaholic girl like that--I'm watching My Super Sweet 16 with the kids now. This show is so horrible it's addictive. Two episodes ago I told them we could watch ONE and that was all...now we're on the third because it's so scary/sad/riveting. These girls are only barely 16 and look and act like Girls Gone Wild. Soooo depressing, especially considering that Mimi is almost 13 so it's only a matter of time until her friends start looking and acting like this. Notice I say "her friends" because there's no way in hell she's going to be dressing or acting like these girls.

Anyway, I better go--have to get ready for the next wave of entertainment: Desperate Housewives, United States of Tara and Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow, I've been bad about keeping up this blog! Lucky for me, I already blogged about Valentine's Day last year so you'll have something to read.

Be back soon...in the meantime you can always catch some social media posts on my other blog, Mizz Information, and I'll also be blogging from a conference I'm going to in Miami next week.

I'm sure I'll be burnt out of writing about social media when I get back so I'll have to switch over to this blog for a while. Famous last words, right?

I Used To Be Way Funnier

I was just searching for an old post on this blog (or is it "in" this blog?) and realized something. I used to be way funnier. Now that people actually read my other blog, Mizz Information, and call asking if they can interview me for an article about associations using social media or if they can quote me in their upcoming article about, what else--social media--I have gotten in the habit of blogging almost exclusively about social media. Not there's anything wrong with that, of course--we all know I'm totally obsessed with social media so it may as well result in some kind of professional success, right?

But is it as fun to write--or read--about as Fourthmeal, yuppie sex or making boobs out of period blood?

The Real Reason I Love Social Media

In 140 characters or fewer, this is why I love social media:

@themediaishirin Helping laid off media employees find new work 140 characters at a time. Email us at mediaishiring@gmail.com

Reasons why this is awesome:

1) A 140 character resume as a serious way to find a new job? Hells yeah. You can't get more FIO than that, unless the world is reduced to communicating via meaningful glances or tongue clicks.

2) The name is really themediaishiring. But the dude either mistyped and left off the "g" or that was too long a username. Does he sweat it? Nope--in the awesome world of social media stuff like that just doesn't matter.

In traditional communications there are all kinds of rules: you have to have a journalism degree; you have to proof and edit and proof again--mistakes are forbidden; you have to use correct punctuation; you have to use italics and footnotes with subscripts and all that kind of stuff.

But in "new" media? Fuck that shit. Forget the "g" on the end of your name? Makes it more authentic. Italics? So old-school. Typos? Whatever--everyone knows bloggers are so busy furiously expressing themselves that they can't be bothered with editing or proofing. And don't even think of hiring someone to edit for you--that's a big no-no; again with the authenticity.

And times like now, when I started a post but have to be somewhere in 5 minutes so don't have time to think of a snappy ending--no matter.

Not.Feeling.It.

I don't know what's up with me--I'm just not feeling like blogging lately. Maybe because nothing interesting is happening lately? Or because I hate winter? I'm not feeling bad or anything--unlike my poor sister Cassie--just not very inspired to write anything interesting.

So I'm wracking my brains trying to think of something interesting and still coming up dry.

I'm trying to read several books right now--Amy Tan's Saving Fish From Drowning (it's good but apparently not that riveting, judging by the fact that I've been trying to read it for like a month now and am only on page 143); Elizabeth Buchan's Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman (again, ok but not great--but it is the prequel of a better book, Wives Behaving Badly) and another library book so uninspiring I can't even remember the name and am too lazy to go get it from the kitchen, where it's waiting to go back to the library since I've only read about 20 pages in the 3 weeks I've had it.

Wow--I'm boring myself just writing this so instead of continuing the torture for both of us, let's go to some commercial breaks.

Blythe: I can't decide if this is cute or just downright freaky:


Watching it again, I think I might have to go with freaky.

Kiddles: This is 90% hilarious and 10% emotional abuse against a child. Watch this and tell me you don't think the girl got the beat-down immediately following the taping of this video.



Am I imagining it or is the mom sort of sobbing at the end of the video?

Stuff Black People Like

Geez, I am slacking off about writing in here lately. Any blogging time I have seems to go to Mizz Information, since that blog actually gets read now, believe it or not. I started that blog last February and it had 18 page views that month; last month it was up to 496 page views. Twice in the past month I've had people interview me for print articles about social media and social networking--it cracks me up that it's possible to be an "expert" on Facebook and Twitter.

But I digress...

Ok, we all know a) how obsessed I am with Stuff People Like and b) how obsessed I am with black culture.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me to search for it sooner, but the other day I suddenly wondered "I wonder if there's Stuff Black People Like?" I Googled it and of course there is Stuff Black People Like. The first one I clicked was hilarious. I particularly liked Matching from Head to Toe and Beyond and Hair Styles. Then I clicked on "about" and realized the guy who writes it is white. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but somehow a white guy writing about what black people like just doesn't work as well as a black guy writing about what black people like. So I continued my search and found my new obsession: Cobb.

I will let you read and enjoy it at your leisure--and don't forget the comments! My favorite comment?

"I can't get enough of hot sauce. I put hot sauce on everything...even ice cream and pussy!"

Crickets
I'm just fresh out of things to blog about tonight, but didn't want to let a whole week pass without something going on here. So here's a liddle kiddle vid:


I wonder why there are so few Kiddle fans out there in cyber-world. There are tons of Blythe fans on Facebook and Blythe videos on YouTube.

Cassie, we need to get right on this and rectify this situation, don't you think?

Beauty Favorites

I know all of you have always thought "If Maggie is dumb enough to pay $500 for Botox she must spend a fortune on other makeup and beauty products." Actually, not true. True, I have tried many expensive products, but for the most part, over the years I have ruled out most of them in favor of cheap products that work just as well or better.

Ok--get your pens and paper out because I'm about to save you the trouble of trying a bunch of expensive products yourself and tell you what works.:

1) Avon ANEW ADVANCED All-In-One MAX SPF 15 UVA/UVB Lotion. It is light, doesn't make you break out, and contains glycolic acid and retinol, which correct sun damage and prevent further damage. Avon sells it for $16.50, but it frequently goes on sale. Also--and this applies for all these products--I always check ebay first because sometimes you can get the same product, brand new in the box--for way less on ebay. In this case it doesn't matter as much because it's pretty cheap from Avon, but it never hurts to check ebay first. With Avon products though, ebay usually isn't the best choice because you have to pay shipping and you don't if you buy Avon through your local Avon lady.

2) Dr. Perricone Neuropeptide eye cream. Ok, I'm already contradicting my thing about only buying cheap products--this retails for $195. But wait! The first time I bought it--and this is my gift to you--I got it from QVC because they have a "30 day or bottom of the bottle" guarantee. Meaning, you can buy it, pump it all into another container and return the empty bottle for a full refund. Before you damn me to hell, let me add that over the years I've bought a LOT from QVC, so I figure I'm entitled to a one-time free gift of some eye cream. I wouldn't do it more than once--come on, even I have a conscience. But all of you haven't used up your chance yet, so I forgive you in advance for doing it this one time. Anyway, if you don't want to go to hell over a bottle of eye cream, you can get it on ebay for anywhere from $20-$50, new and sealed. That's where I bought it after I realized I couldn't live without it after the free QVC trial. It works so well it's actually worth $195 and, if ebay didn't exist, I'd have to pay $195 for it because I haven't found another eye cream I like as much. Avon has a few that are also good, but in general, anything too creamy just makes the puffy bags under my eyes worse. Yes, even creams or gels that say they're specifically for getting rid of puffy eye bags.

3) Genie Instant Line Smoother. Ok, if you don't want to do the QVC try-and-return with the Perricone eye cream, you should definitely do it with this because this is a product that truly requires a try before you buy. I bought it wanting to just try it, and figured I'd be returning it because I doubted it actually worked. I have to say that, aside from Botox, this is the only other thing that honestly makes a visible difference--granted for puffy eyes, though, not wrinkles. If they invented the injectible equivalent of this I would do it, but sadly, it's the cosmetic equivalent of Cinderella's glass shoe--transforms when it's on, but once you wash it off, your eye bags are back. I would buy it from QVC the first time to make sure you like it, then look for it on ebay for less. Unfortunately, you can't find it for a lot less than the QVC price of $29.95, but it's always worth a look.

I should back up and say that I use this Genie line smoother for my eye bags--not for all over my face. I swear to GOD it works like a miracle--it honestly either fixes the bags completely or at least makes them 75% better. Even Patrick admits that it works.

Whew, this is tiring--guess I have a lot to say about beauty products. How about I leave it at this and next time cover face cleanser, night lotion and acne medicines? Then I will move on to cosmetics. Gives you something to look forward to and gives me at least 2 no-brainer blog posts.