My Advice to Tiger Woods

Patrick told me that Tiger Woods has announced that he's taking an "indefinite break" from pro golf because he's so mortified about the world finding out he's a cheater. This is what I have to say to him: who the fuck cares? You are not the first man on the planet to ever be outed as a cheater, a pervert and an asshole. Get over yourself and don't be such a pussy. Moping around your house and/or cowering from the media isn't going to put your marriage and/or family back together and it just diminishes you further in the eyes of the world. Go back to work, act like nothing happened, and next week some other celebrity will do something stupid and we'll all forget your indiscretions.