The White House is Now a Black House

If you read this blog you know I'm obsessed with movies about black families. I love them--read that post if you want to know why. (Mimi is sitting next to me while I'm writing this, muttering "racist!" because I said "black families"--but you know I don't mean it like that.)

Anyway, I just heard that the Obamas are having a poetry slam at the White House tonight and I couldn't help but think that no white presidential family ever had stuff like poetry slams. Or comedians saying totally irreverent things at White House dinners.



Let me tell you this: if I could go back in time I would go back and reverse my stance on not voting and vote for Obama because he ROCKS. I stand officially corrected (go ahead and gloat, Beth.)

Fock the Vote

I didn't vote.

There, I said it..and believe me, I debated about saying it--or about blogging about it at least. How pathetic is it that in this great free country of ours I seriously had to think twice about making the fact I didn't vote a matter of the public record. We all know the possible ramifications of posting drunken photos of yourself on Facebook or other personal-yet-public acts that could potentially tarnish future job prospects...maybe admitting you're a non-voter is just as bad? Or worse?

I'll tell you this much: people sure have strong feelings about it--just check out the comments on Penelope Trunk's "Did you vote today?" post. Why is it with the issue of voting people feel so free to get in your face and tell you how it's basically a crime not to vote--either a crime or something only a moron wouldn't do? It would never occur to me to care whether or not someone voted--why would anyone care if I do or not?

I didn't specifically mean not to vote--had there not been a line at the polling place this morning I would have cast my vote for Obama (had I voted I would have voted for Obama...so if he doesn't win I guess I'm personally responsible) and gone on with my day. Maybe even gone to get my free donut at Krispy Kreme, some free coffee at Starbucks and then some free ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. But there was a line, so I figured I'd just go back later.

Then I was driving home and it was pouring and I really wasn't feeling the idea of so much as parking my car and walking into the school--let alone waiting in any sort of line. It was then that I realized that if such petty stuff was making me dread going to vote, voting is not actually that important to me. Looking for validation, I logged onto Facebook and searched for "didn't vote" thinking surely there would be some group of thousands of non-voters to justify my decision.

Yes, there is a group: League of Non-Voters...with 85 members. Surely there are more than 85 non-voters to offset the 4,265 members of "Rock the Vote."

All I know is that, as ambivilent as I was about voting, when I read the description on the League of Non-Voters page, I realized it isn't about the lines or the rain--I am actually making a conscious decision not to vote. That description sums up exactly how I feel:

"This group is for everyone who is tired of being sold out by politicians, tired of the "lesser of two evils," the unconscionable lies, the fancy suits and expensive dinners, the photo ops, the cardboard patriotism, the war that neither party will end, and the closed political universe that banishes any real possibility of change...This group is the party against politics and for a truly democratic future."

THAT is a sentiment I would have stood in line to endorse.

Stuff White People Like (yes, again)

Yesterday our friends Jen and Chris were visiting and somehow the conversation turned to Stuff White People Like. I am so obsessed with it I had to pull out the laptop and share one of my all-time favorite things white people like: Having Black Friends.

"Since we are on the verge of electing a black president, it seems important to explain why white people want black friends. Every white person wants a black friend like Barack: good-looking, well-spoken, and non-violent. Obviously, whites want black friends so as not to appear racist (see earlier Obama post). However, if we dig deeper what we notice about white people is not if they have black friends but in fact, how many black friends they have. White people like numbers. They like to count things like stars in the sky and the death toll at Mt. Everest and the number of times they’ve seen Tori Amos and/or Phish in concert. Counting the number of black friends is then clearly a divine imperative. The number of black friends white people possess also illustrates their comfort with black culture. Here’s a handy guide to the number system:

1—The white novice. This black friend is the gateway to helping white people understand gang signs and Vietnamese beauty supply stores. This black friend is probably the only black friend for many white people and when they all hang out (because white people hang out) they bring their “mutual” black friend with them.

2—The white black club-goer. Two black friends serve as bodyguards when white people go to black clubs to see how exactly one “pops, drops and locks” it.

3 -4—The white BET-er. See Justin Timberlake/ Robin Thicke/ Jon B for more information. For old school reference, see Michael McDonald.

5 and up—Impossible."

LMAO!

F*ing It Off, Huffington Post Style

Forget blogging your way into a job or a book deal--now you don't even have to be a blogger to gain respect and renown. The Huffington Post has a system that allows top commentors to become featured bloggers on the site.

Basically all you have to do is comment on someone ELSE'S blog, then you in turn will become a respected blogger, right up there with the likes of Barack Obama, Bill Maher and, well, Candy Spelling.

By the way, I love the term "opinion journalist", as used by Arianna Huffington in the above article about the commenter-to-blogger system. "Journalist" used to mean a skilled professional who went to school for a long time and worked his/her way up the intellectual publishing ladder; now you can become an "Opinion Journalist" by just writing whatever you want to about whatever you want-- no research, fact checking or advanced degree necessary.

And the beauty is that, if what I read more and more frequently (yet don't have to cite specifically where because I'm an opinion journalist) is true, 10 years from now traditional media will be extinct and f-it off journalism--I mean opinion journalism--will reign.