Penelope Trunk....Yes, Again

I'm not even going to bother searching this blog for posts to link to to prove my point that I'm obsessed with Penelope Trunk--if you read regularly you already know and if you don't you'll either have to take my word for it or search yourself. Anyway, my point is--I am obsessed with Penelope Trunk. And my worship of her just got two levels deeper today upon reading these two posts.

I'm telling you--she might be crazy but DAMN she ROCKS.

What if Your Personal Brand is Your P*ssy?

I've said it before and I'll say it again--I love Penelope Trunk. Admittedly, she gets a little nasty sometimes--and I don't mean nasty like dirty nasty, I mean nasty like mean nasty. If you ask me, girl needs some mood stabilizers, stat, but apparently her craziness is not only her charm but her dollar value--her investing model seems to be attract blog traffic by being outrageous.

One of her ongoing ways of being outrageous is talking about her, um, girl parts. Specifically the fact that she waxes her pubic hair. Her and every other girl under the age of 30, that is--or are younger girls now kicking it old school and leaving the pre-pubescent girl look to actual pre-pubescent girls? Anyway...she seems to get a lot of mileage out of using her pubic hair stories to shock readers, investors, her lawyer, etc.

At some point, though, isn't enough enough? Is it really that interesting, on an ongoing basis, to hear about the state of her hair-down-there--or lack thereof? Today she was at it again, on Twitter:

"Brazilian today. New person doing the waxing. I didn't request the wax woman I like best; seems too intimate to admit to having a favorite."

Past pubic tweets include "Living in WI makes me out of date: A NYC friend says "Do lasers, duh," when I tell her the waxer in WI leaves hairs where mouths should be" and "For 90 minutes I'm the productivity queen: 25 emails, 14 phone calls and one twitter. While I get waxed. Everything off. First time. Ouch."

Ok we get it--your pussy is bald. Now move on.

Gen Whine In The House

Yesterday I made the mistake of watching a video of Penelope Trunk giving a speech about Gen-Yers in the workplace. The same now-cliche stuff about managing 20-somethings: don't expect them to "pay dues" because they'll walk if they have to do grunt work like other generations had to; keep them motivated with treats or special incentives every day or they'll walk; don't hassle them if they seem to be doing nothing but listening to iPods and web-surfing all day or they'll walk. In short, treat them with kid gloves because they are so spectacular that we can't afford to piss them off. The rationale being that they're soon going to be overtaking the workforce so we better just let them have their way.

First of all, bullshit. As far as the whole "soon all the Boomers will be retiring" thing--I think everyone knows that is no longer a valid sentiment, what with the state of the economy. Anyone who was even close to retiring a year ago is now most likely looking at another 10+ years in the workforce before they might be able to even consider retiring. And second of all, bullshit--even if they do retire there are still droves of Gen-Xers who are unemployed and willing--not to mention well-qualified--to do the jobs Gen-Yers scoff at. After all, if you have a mortgage, a car payment, credit card debt, kids, a spouse, etc--you don't have the luxury of hiding out in mom and dad's basement until you find a job that pays six figures and consists of one never-ending brainstorming session while hanging out in a treehouse or some equally cool and laid-back work environment.

Enter the blog post that set me off on this rant. Penelope Trunk has a guest poster on her blog today--a 23 year old writing about why it's smart to quit a job after just two weeks of work. The crux of her rationale being, of course, the tenet upon which the entire Gen-Y work philosophy is based: living with mom n' dad. After all, 65% of new grads do it--so of course it's a good idea.

I digress about the rest of the post; you can read it yourself. And don't miss the comments--those are some of the best parts. Here's one of my favorites:

"I quit a job after two weeks too, but I don't believe the company felt I was doing them a favor. (I was, as indicated in the post.) They are not contemplative enough to consider the possibility that they did something - actually, many things - wrong."

Like forgetting the daily reward or making you spend time at the copier?
Wait--there's more:

"Companies are no more likely than individual people to improve their attitudes or practices when something negative happens."

The "something negative" of course being that the lazy, self-centered entry level person left of his own free will, thereby sparing the company the considerable time, money and hassle it would have taken to fire that person had they and their bad attitude stayed in the job.

Call me a bitter Gen-Xer if you want--I have no problem owning that. And I'm not even one to talk about sticking it out in jobs--I'm the first to admit my resume is filled with jobs that I stayed in for a year before deciding I couldn't stand it and found something better. However, one thing I can say is that I always found a better job, always had health-insurance paid for by me--not my parents--and moving back in with them was never an option.

I've asked this in previous posts: where has the stereotype of the adult loser who lives in his parents' house gone? Have 20-somethings never seen Wedding Crashers? Stepbrothers? Failure to Launch? Call it what you will: saving money, being prudent, giving yourself the opportunity to wait for the perfect job--the fact remains that being 20- or--god-forbid--30-something and living with your parents is nothing to brag about.

I'm Baack!

Geez, long time no post. I was away on a business trip--the good part of which was that I was with my sister, Cassie. It was fun to work a meeting again--I hadn't done one in a few years. This was a convention with 12,500 attendees--probably at least 10,000 of whom were young 20-something girls who all looked like J Crew models. I definitely felt 40. Luckily, I got home Saturday night and Sunday at 5 pm was Botox.

Remember my strip mall Botox doctor, the one who wanted me to do marketing for him in exchange for free treatments? Unfortunately it turned out that what any intelligent person could have told me was true: strip mall Botox is no good. He may as well have been injecting saline that maybe sat next to Botox during shipping, because it lasted all of about a month--if that. So it was back to the regular Botox party with the guy who uses enough to render your face expressionless for a good 4-6 months.

For the uninitiated, a Botox party is when you get together a group of ladies and all get injections together--it's cheaper that way because the doctor doesn't have to open a vial to shoot up one person then have to waste the rest. The funny part to me is that half the women there don't tell their husbands they get Botox. They all had to come up with stories about why they were running out for an hour and a half at 5 pm on a Sunday night. That and then showing up at home with a bunch of little welts all over their faces. Not to mention $400 missing from the checking account. But I digress...all I know is that my wrinkles are vanishing as I type this.

Speaking of you, Cassie--did you know I tagged you to do 5 fun facts about yourself? Better get to work on that; even Penelope Trunk responded.

And speaking of Penelope Trunk--who, yes, I blog about almost as much as I blog about Stuff White People Like and Augusten Burroughs--had a good post last week that dovetails with this post and my last one.

Crazy Successful or Just Crazy, Redux

A while ago I blogged about the connection between the entreprenurial spirit and just plain old manic depressive (I'm still searching for the post to link to; feel free to browse my archived posts and find it yourself). I was reminded of it yesterday when I read another totally random Penelope Trunk blog post.

Penelope Trunk is the poster girl for the "is she crazy successful or just crazy?" theory. I love her but the girl is just all over the place. If she were reading the stuff she writes live I guarantee you the audience would be sitting there going "huh?"

Ostensibly, all her posts relate to career advice. Sometimes she actually writes career advice. However, more often than not, her posts are about pubic hair, autism, eating disorders, volleyball--you name it, I'm pretty sure she's woven it into a career advice post at some point. (And yes, I did mean to link to that search page for "volleyball" to illustrate how many different ways she's woven the fact that she used to be a professional volleyball player into her posts.)

I'd be willing to bet cash money that Penelope Trunk is bipolar--yet not only has it not hurt her career, it's actually the reason she is as successful as she is. A "normal" person would never take the risks she takes--and, therefore, would never be able to get rich telling the world about her naked pubes and college vomiting habits.

My point? She rocks.

You Want Career Advice? Ask a 20-Something

Anyone who reads my blogs knows that I’m a huge fan of Penelope Trunk. I used to read her blog—still do—but now I also read some of the featured blogs on her website Brazen Careerist. The site is geared towards Gen-Y--or the term I find funnier, Millennials-- and many of the bloggers are 20-somethings giving career advice either before they have careers or from the vantage point of their entry-level jobs. A lot of posts are arrogant dissertations about why Gen-Y is better than previous generations--smarter, more creative, more technically savvy, not willing to settle for the crappy lives every person over the age of 35 has--basically annoying and sort of hilarious.

Take this post, for example Twentysomething: Why My generation is More Productive Than Yours. Main takeaway from the post: "We’ve seen our washed up parents work shit jobs they hate, and we won’t go through the motions for the sake of job security." Hey now--give your poor hard-working parents a break: someone had to finance your lessons, sports, activities--you know, all that stuff that helped you get into the expensive college that they also had to pay for. And just when they thought it was over and you'd be getting jobs like college grads of yesteryear did, you decide you are going to do the responsible thing and move back home.

One of my favorite Brazen Careerist posts was written by a 20-something who's "working a temporary job as I actively pursue a career in the publishing industry." Actively pursuing as in working a temp job with no benefits while daydreaming about moving to France and getting a kick-ass job? Naturally, the crux of the plan is moving back in with her parents. You go girl, with the career advice. Send me a postcard from the major publishing house in France and let me know how that worked out for you.

Back to the "washed up" parents, though: maybe their "shit jobs" aren't the only culprit of their washed up lives. Maybe they're exhausted from having spent 20 years lavishing attention and praise on their youngins. The helicopter parenting that created these arrogant 20-somethings is bound to wear a person out. Think about it--20 years spent anxiously hovering over your kid, making sure he/she doesn't have to experience a moment's discomfort lest it damage their self-esteem--it's like being a stewardess or something. Not to mention a bank; sure, it's easy to be a 20-something who won't settle for just any mundane job when your parents are still supporting you. Rent? Health insurance? Not a worry for these clever Gen-Yers who will end up happier and more successful and just better in every way than previous generations because they're making their own rules and succeeding on their own terms.

Don't worry about reading all the blogs on Brazen Careerist; I'll sum them up for you: the keys to career success are:

1) Mastering MySpace and other social networking applications that the older generation just doesn't get and which are basically the only job skills required at the flexible dream jobs where there are no rules, no set hours and unlimited vacation.

and

2) Relying on your parents to support you and then hook you up with a sweet internship that will ultimately--no rush, now, since rent isn't an issue--lead to a job that pays as much as your parents' "shit job" but that is satisfying and morally superior.

Don't get me wrong--I am all for the results-only work environment (ROWE)...but I'm old and I've earned it.

The Power of Negative Blogging

Yesterday I blogged about Penelope Trunk's post about shared parenting, which featured Marc and Amy, who are self-professed "shining pillars of excellence" (An "English as a second language" kid in Mimi's 5th grade class coined this term and I love it.) in the realm of shared parenting.

Who would have thought the object of my ridicule--Amy--would ever see the post, but she paid my blog a visit and left a scathing comment. In case you can't figure out how to get to the comment section of that post, here is her comment, followed by my response:

Maggie,
It seems important to you to find ways to ridicule our passion to share the benefits and challenges of equally shared parenting with others via our website, the article, and yes, someday, a book. No one is forcing you to adopt or even agree with anything we say, although you do sound like you are doing so in your own way anyway - both in your new marriage (if I read that right) and in your relationship with your ex-husband.

Why did Penelope give us advice on preparing to write a book? Well, because she makes a career of advising people, because she linked to US originally and we wrote to thank her, and because the few emails we exchanged over a year ago were free and encouraging. Tell me you wouldn't appreciate the same mentorship from someone for something YOU believed in. And by the way, the book we hope to write isn't about us - it is about equal parenting. A book about us would be, well, freaky to use your words! Have to agree with you there. We are far from perfect, but we're one of only a handful of people (until now) actually speaking up about the practical good and bad about equally shared parenting.

Anyway, I have no interest in engaging in your spit-fest, but wanted to reach out to suggest that you needn't give us so much power.

Take care,
Amy
Amy | Homepage | 07.08.08 - 10:20 am | #

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What's important to me is thinking of things to blog about on a semi-regular basis and, sorry, but things I find funny are easy fodder.

The thing is that I 100% agree with the concept--it's the "look at us--we're perfect!" way you present yourselves that I find funny. It's not just you guys, and it's not just me who finds stuff like your site funny--that's why sites like http://bestparentever.com/ exist.

I'm sure I, too, possess many annoying and self-promoting qualities; however, I can't see myself ever presenting myself as a shining example of anything--I figure anything I'm doing, someone else is also doing and probably doing better than I am.

But who knows--maybe I'm wrong...after all, you and your husband are living proof that nobody's going to promote you if you don't promote yourselves. After all, even though I, too, practice shared parenting, you're the ones with the book deal and I'm the one with 15 people reading my blog. And I'm not saying this facetiously--I'm serious.

And hell yes I would appreciate the same mentorship, especially from someone like Penelope. Not only is she a mentor, she has the power to make your book a success by spreading the word and promoting it. More power to you—but part of putting yourselves out there is, of course, having people who see things the way I do ridicule you. Then again, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that any press is good press and negative reactions will sell just as many books as positive ones will.

And now naturally I have to ridicule her comment, especially because she used the word "spit-fest."

A Banner Day in the Blogosphere

It's been slow going for me lately, creatively-speaking. I haven't felt like blogging but was alarmed to see my already minimal audience dwindle by the day so I've really been trying to squeeze some posts out. Not like you could tell or anything.

But I just finished reading Penelope Trunk's blog and don't even know where to begin my rant. Not about Penelope--she is my idol--did you know she makes $15,000 for one speaking engagement? Granted, she is, I'm sure--as one woman in my book group once described herself and the term became one of my favorites--a "gunner"--e.g. total type A, super competetive woman. But hey--she's a good writer and makes enough money to afford a $50k "house manager" in addition to a nanny and a housekeeper. I bow to her....but wouldn't want to be her.

Anyway, her post focused on this NY Times article about shared parenting and I couldn't help but think that the Stuff White People Like people would have a field-day with it.

Where do I even begin? Well, as Penelope did, with the "insipid photo," of course. Are there honestly people out there who see a photo like this and take it at face value, rather than laugh it off as a parody of yuppie parents? Are there really people out there so humorless that a photo like this serves only to get their competetive "best parent in universe" juices flowing?

I confess I didn't read beyond the first page of the article; I figure the title of the article, together with the term "breast milk" juxtaposed with the spooky photo, probably says it all anyway. What's up with a story that spans 10 web pages? Ten pages should be the sum total of an entire SITE--never one article.

But I digress...because after I did my three-point glance at the page and returned to Penelope's post, my eyes lit on this sentence:

A second disclaimer is that Amy and Marc, featured there as the poster children for shared care, are also people I’ve helped—about how to pitch themselves to the media so they could get some articles written about themselves and get a book deal. And they, too, were nice.

Did someone say book deal?

Seriously, though--there are people out there who think they are fascinating enough that they seek advice on how to pitch themselves to the media? I mean, regular people, fascinating--in their own eyes, at least--for just being regular people? While there are many fascinating things about me that would undoubtedly make A+ book fodder, I would be forever banished from polite company if I ever wrote it--not to mention it would probably send my mother into heart failure. My blogging in general already has her half there.

Back to Amy and Marc though--the picture on their website is even freakier than the one in the NYT article. Aren't sites that look like this usually reserved for engaged couples? At first glance I thought Amy and Marc were caterers or something--what with the chef hats and all--and figured that accounted for the desire for media coverage. But no--as you can see for yourselves, Amy and Marc are merely trying to pitch their perfectness to the media.

This post is already long enough and I still have one more thing to cover so I'll leave it at that...suffice it to say that I'm sure an upcoming topic on Stuff White People Like will be Shared Parenting.

Which brings me to the final--and probably best--link of all. ThirdPath--a favorite resource of Amy and Marc's--ranks right up there with Le Petite Paradis in terms of its "you've got to be kidding me" quotient. I'll have to write about ThirdPath another time, as it deserves its own post, but I'll just say that if my career as a Bottle Whisperer doesn't pan out I'm going to try offering "coaching calls" for $150 an hour.

Crazy Successful or Just Crazy?

Lately I've been reading/listening to a lot of books about forgetting the rules and just making things to happen. Rhonda Byrne's The Secret, Timothy Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweek, Steve Chandler's 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself and various other motivational speakers/authors. The common theme among them: throw convention out the window, rules don't matter, you are the master of your own destiny, etc. I guess it equates to what is known as the "entrepreneurial spirit."

I listen to/read this stuff and get really hyped up--"Yeah! I'm just going to make things happen for myself! F the rules--I'll write my own rules!" I can see why these people get paid a ton of money to speak or write books--because the fact that I and millions of other people are listening to/reading them is living proof that, yes, it is possible to write your own rules and design your life to your exact specifications.

(Patrick--who may as well be named Eyore for these purposes--totally disagrees with my enthusiasm, by the way. He says they’re all full of shit and anyone who tried to do what they say would immediately be fired and their lives forever ruined.)

One thing that occurred to me one day, though, while double-dosing on Timothy Ferriss in the car and Penelope Trunk on the computer--both of them have similarly extreme stories: Trunk with her start-ups, firings, bankruptcy, and now fame and, apparently, fortune and Ferriss with his quitting Princeton, losing jobs, starting companies and working 24/7, etc.

Then cut to me, sitting at my quarterly appointment with the psychopharmacologist, listening to him tick off his standard list of questions: Have you been more active than usual? Reduced need for sleep? Risk-taking behavior? Delusions of grandeur? If I were to answer yes to any or, god forbid, all of these questions, I'd be walking out of there with a prescription for Lithium to quell what would diagnostically qualify as a manic episode. I never did anything close to any of this stuff they've done yet I am supposedly bipolar II and on medication for life.

So here’s my question: don’t you essentially have to be bipolar to be a successful entrepreneur? Don’t all these people get to the top by working 24/7 (reduced need for sleep), doing what other people would never dream of doing like quitting jobs to start a business (risk-taking behavior), and of course thinking that the reason they can do this stuff and succeed is because they’re echelons above the common person (delusions of grandeur)? What would happen if they were to wind up in the shrink’s office and handed a sheaf of prescriptions—would they still be on top of the world, writing best-selling books and making millions with their speaking engagements? Or would the meds pop their manic balloons and send them back to regular desk jobs?

Blog-to Book-Deal #92

Ok, not really--I'm not sure if the actual number of blog-to-book deals to date is 92; I just stole "92" from the title of this article that appeared in the March 30, 2008 New York Times.

Christian Lander, an Internet copy writer, has a blog called Stuff White People Like. I would have given the guy a book deal for the title alone. I have to go read it but at a super quick glance (who, me--offer an opinion based upon a mere glance?) it looks hilarious. Hilarious, apparently, to the tune of $300,000, according to the NYT article.

Look at it this way--turn on your TV on any given evening and chances are you will find a reality show of some sort. Dating shows, beauty contests, a million different takes on the theme of survival, people battling it out to lose weight, people crammed in a house trying to annoy the shit out of each other, etc. You name it and there's a reality show about it. The whole premise is that people are entertaining enough just by themselves; no need for writers to sweat it out trying to write scripts or come up with ideas.

Isn't the same thing true of blogs? I'm certainly no literary agent yet I spend an inordinate amount of time reading various blogs. If I were in a position to make money by translating interesting ones into book deals I'd be set for life. Sit back and surf the infinite number of unsolicited book pitches--what could be easier? It's like being a modeling agent sitting at a pool filled with hot young girls--just sit there with a cocktail and take your pick of the ones who would make you the most money.

At any rate, is this not yet more evidence that FIO is the way the world operates now?

As is this, for that matter--my new FIO poster child, Penelope Trunk, blogging about how writing without typos is totally outdated. I say poster child because she embodies the spirit of FIO--that is, fuck rules--make your own, then laugh all the way to the bank.

Advice from the Millennials

Lately I've been reading a great blog--Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist. She is off the hook successful--wrote a book, launched three start ups, is a columnist at Boston Globe, and her syndicated column runs in more than 200 publications worldwide. Just like me, right?

At any rate, she just launched a new site www.brazencareerist.com which features 50 Generation Y bloggers. Generation Y, by the way, is defined by Wikipedia as children born between 1980–1995. I, born in 1968, am obviously not a Gen Y-er; however, I find Trunk's blogs to be very relevant to my professional and personal experience. At a quick glance, the bloggers on her new site seem a lot younger than I am--but a lot more professionally accomplished--and all seem to have a lot of drive and entrepreneurial spirit, but on their own terms.

Again the operative term being "quick glance", I read the bios and blogs of a handful of her bloggers (50 at this time) and each of them seem like super go-getters--enthusiastic, smart and idealistic. Maybe "idealistic" isn't the right word because they all seem to be pretty successful in shaping things the way they want them to be as far as careers go. It's a little funny to me, though, in an admittedly superior way, to see 20-somethings--some not yet out of college or grad school--writing like they've been around the block 1,000 times and are back to report on the way things really are. But then again, who am I to say that--many of them HAVE, in their short time in the job market, accomplished a lot more than us rule-following Gen X-ers.

Case in point: last week's OnBalance guest blog. That blog alone pretty much defines the difference between Gen Y-ers and the 40+ set: namely, the bitter "don't bother dreaming about a job you'll love because it will never pay the bills" attitude. Reading that blog last week made me shudder--reading post after post about how you're doing your kid a disservice by so much as allowing them to major in anything other than business or pre-law because in the "real world" you can only cling to solvency by going into soul-sucking, 60 hour a week+ professions like law or accounting. Teacher--forget it--you'll never be able to pay the bills. Musician, artist--you name it--if a job involves any measure of enjoyment then forget it--you'll never be able to pay the mortgage and your life will end. Seriously--go read the comments and tell me that I'm misinterpreting this attitude.

At any rate, I'll be interested to see how much of these millennials' (another term for Generation Y-ers) advice is applicable to this baby buster (again, thanks Wikipedia for expanding my vocabulary).