Thursday, April 11, 2013

Dads, Cry Me a River

In case you're not familiar with the awesome power of dad bloggers, you better brace yourselves for the revolt that's brewing. Not.

A few months ago, there was a big whine-fest in the blogosphere when Ragu poorly executed a social media campaign and some dad bloggers tried to go Motrin moms about the whole thing. Melodramatic headlines like "Ragu Hates Dads" ensued. Shockingly, the world did not stop spinning and life went on as usual.

But a new article in Boston magazine warns about a powerful new movement that's forming: pissed off dads sick of being seen as morons. You know, sick of being objectified and portrayed in a sterotypical light as bumblers who can't cook or clean or....you know, make sauce from scratch.

Here's what I say to those dads: get in line behind the moms/women you think are getting all the respect as gourmet cooks and ass-wipers and house cleaners and...oh, what else are we always getting all the limelight for? You think being treated like a moron is the special domain of dads? Try being a woman for a while.

You know, because we can't do math, and we all love doing crafts, and baking, and, well, home-making. We all hate sex and only do it to get our husbands to do chores. We all want to be nurses or teachers or nurturers...that is, if we have any ambition at all outside the home, which, according to every woman's magazine and consumer product peddler, we do not because everyone knows all women care about is streak-free windows and flawlessly decorated baked goods that are the envy of all the other moms at bake sales, the running of which is the highlight of our lives.

Here's the thing--as a 43 year old mom, I've lived a long time and known plenty of dads. Currently know a lot of dads. And out of those hundreds of dads, there are about zero who are jockeying for the prize position of chief homemaker. That's not to say a few don't pitch in around the house--do some (or even--gasp--all) of the cooking. Some cleaning. Some child-rearing. But those few dads are by far the exception to the rule. I'm pretty sure huge brands aren't going to spend a buttload of money designing campaigns to appeal to a handful of these domesticated men. And here's the thing--even if they did decide to do it--change the stereotypes and swap out the cookie-cutter housewives featured in their ads with men--would that be a good thing? Is that really something men want to strive for-- being objectified not as "beer-swilling bros" but as domestic gods? And if so, why? Is swapping out one stereotype for another somehow better?

The article goes on to quote the publisher and CEO of Good Men Media:

“We think the daddy bloggers are just a couple of years behind the mommy bloggers as a real marketing force”

Really? That's what this is about? Because being known as "daddy blogger" is better than whatever it is you are currently known as? Or because being a "mommy blogger" is such a lucrative enterprise for millions of women? Dads, too, strive to do real work in exchange for coupons or "free" products that they have to pay taxes on? They want in on the "free" giveaways that they a) have to pay taxes on and b) have to pay to ship? Or is it the fortune that mommy blogging brings in that is allowing millions of women to support their families?

How about this--I'll trade you. My "status" as woman and the 70 cents an hour I make to your one dollar an hour? The stereotype marketers peg me as: homemaker, crafter, lover of all things domestic--for your "beer swilling bro" and jar sauce user? I'll take it. Because if using jar sauce makes you a moron, I'm already one anyway--may as well get out of my other domestic duties and make more money while I'm at it.

2011 Movie Recap

It's that time of year again...time for my movie recap. In case you don't know this about me, I'm obsessed with going to movies. Not watching movies at home--too many distractions. But going to the movie theater. In 2008 I saw 50 movies. In 2009, I saw 53. Last year I made it to 57. So my number to beat this year was 57. Did I make it?

Of course I did! This year's total? 64 movies. Gulp. Next year is going to be a bitch having to top that.

Let me just preface this by saying that if you didn't go to a lot of movies in 2011, you really didn't miss much. It was a pretty crap year as far as movies go, especially the second half of the year.

Ok, so here we go. In case you haven't read my previous year's movie recap posts, this is my rating system: sucked, rocked or meh, followed by best and worst movies of 2011.

  1. The Rite-- rocked
  2. True Grit--rocked(ish)
  3. No Strings Attached--cute and better than meh, but can't really say rocked
  4. The Company Men--rocked is a bit strong, but I did like it
  5. Country Strong--sorry but this movie rocked. Have seen it three times.  
  6. Just Go With It--rocked(ish)
  7. The Mechanic--rocked. I mean, of course Jason Statham rocks.
  8. The Eagle--rocked(ish)
  9. Unknown--actually Rocked, with a capital R.
  10. Battle:Los Angeles--action parts rocked, and if you like loud movies, you'll like it.
  11. Insidious--ROCKED--if you like scary, this is a must-see.
  12. Limitless--Rocked--I love this movie, although it starts great and kind of peters out.
  13. Soul Surfer--Better(ish) than meh, sort of. Cute for teens/tweens.
  14. Hanna--Sorry but this looked like it was going to be great but in reality SUCKED.
  15. Scream 4--Ok, yes I saw this and of course we all know it SUCKED.
  16. Prom--Utterly forgettable so I'm going to go with cute for teens. Yes, I have one, which is why I saw it.
  17. Thor--Meh plus.
  18. Bridesmaids--HILARIOUS. ROCKED.
  19. Hangover 2--Meh plus. Nowhere as near as good as the first, but some funny parts.
  20. X-Men--I want to say "ok" but that's not a rating, and meh is a little low, so I'll go with rocked(ish)
  21. Pirates of the Caribbean 3--the mermaids ROCKED; the movie was rocked(ish). First Pirates movie I've seen, btw--I only saw it for the mermaids.
  22. Midnight in Paris--Rocked. Even my kids liked this.
  23. Super 8--rocked.
  24. Cowboys & Aliens--Meh. What did you expect?
  25. The Help--ROCKED. I was worried this wouldn't be as good as the book, but it really was.
  26. Captain America--can I just give this a sigh? Patrick (my husband) loves those Marvel movies, but I"m personally over them. This was actually pretty good, but please, 2012, no more Marvel movies, ok?
  27. Crazy, Stupid Love--Meh. Maybe I'll throw a plus on there for Steve Carrell and Julianne Moore
  28. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows--I'm giving this a meh on principle--seriously, can we stop with the two part movies Hollywood?
  29. Rise of the Planet of the Apes--ROCKED. Ceasar better win an Oscar.
  30. Bad Teacher--ROCKED. Raunchy but hilarious.
  31. Friends With Benefits--Meh plus. I liked it but can't bring myself to say rocked. Cute though.
  32. Green Lantern--another sigh. And a meh.
  33. Horrible Bosses--Meh. Jennifer Anniston as sexy just does not work for me.
  34. Transformers 3--Meh.
  35. Contagion--Meh, and a big disappointment--this looked like it was going to be good.
  36. I Don't Know How She Does it--I'm going with Meh, because I can't remember one thing about this movie.
  37. Drive--fun if you like action, but meh if you are looking for a great movie.
  38. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark--SUCKED. This was just freaky and creepy and sucked. AND had Katie Holmes in it, who is meh personified.
  39. The Change Up--Rocked.
  40. Sherlock Holmes 2--Meh. Yeah, really.
  41. Young Adult--Meh plus. Was really slow, but decent if you don't mind really slow and some random details just thrown in there with no real tie-in.
  42. The Sitter--Meh, and a big disappointment--this looked like it was going to be awesome.
  43. Mission Impossible 4--ROCKED. Especially in Imax, something I'd never shelled out for before but now I'm a convert.
  44. Dream House--Meh.
  45. Jumping the Broom--rocked, if for no other reason than the house. But even my kids liked it.
  46. Paranormal Activity 3--Call me crazy, but I thought this rocked, and even saw it twice. I like scary.
  47. Twilight 3--There is not a big enough font in the world to convey how much this movie SUCKED. But I need to find out what happens so of course will have to go see the second part, which just makes me hate it worse. And no, I'm not going to read the book.
  48. Fast Five--Meh
  49. The Dilemma--Meh minus--this was another big disappointment--looked like it would be great and totally was not.
  50. The Roommate--Fun in a Single White Female kind of way, but Meh.
  51. The Ides of March--Yet another disappointment--they're getting really good at making great trailers for not great movies. Meh.
  52. Immortals--Rocked-ish for action, but as with Marvel, no more greek god movies in 2012 please.
  53. Sanctum--Meh minus. Utterly forgettable.
  54. I am Number Four--this was actually pretty good, but I can't really say it rocked. How about enthusiastic Meh plus?
  55. Hall Pass--rocked. I've seen it at least three times and would see it more.
  56. The Lincoln Lawyer--rocked--this was pretty good, but not so good that I actually remember much about it other than that I liked it.
  57. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules--I had low hopes for this movie after the first one, but this was actually pretty good. Can I just go with Good?
  58. Sucker Punch--HORRIBLE. SUCKED. But the girl was super cute.
  59. One Day--Long, drawn out....Meh.
  60. Moneyball--not as great as I thought it would be but still pretty good. Too long, though, and slow. But rocked. With a small r.
  61. What's Your Number?--Cute and funny--but I don't know if I'd say rocked. But better than meh.
  62. Jack and Jill--Sigh. Yes, I saw this, and it was bad as I thought it would be. Could be fun-ish as a rental.
  63. New Year's Eve--Cute, if predictable. Meh.
  64. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--I had high hopes for this but have to give it a solid Meh. WAYYYYY too slow. Just read the book. I haven't seen the Swedish version, but I would imagine it's better.

Ok, so worst movie of 2011? It's a close race between Sucker Punch and Twilight 3. The girl in Sucker Punch is so cute....but ultimately that movie was just BAD. So Sucker Punch.

And best movie of 2011? I have to say that I hardly want to name one because the year as a whole was so meh, movie-wise. I will give a nod to Midnight in Paris because it was Woody Allen and cute, and another to the Help, because it was pretty good, but for sheer movie enjoyment and pretty tight plot, I'm going with Unknown. Patrick said I couldn't say Mission Impossible 4 was the best movie of the year, but it was pretty awesome.

So there you have it. Here's hoping 2012 will be a better movie year.

Le Sigh, or Why of Course French Parents are Better

French Pastry

(Photo by Kevin Dooley on Flickr)

I didn't even bother reading all the way through this article about why French parents are better, because I can already tell you a) it's true and b) why it's true.

Basically, anyone is better at parenting than American helicopter parents. What about obsessing over kids, overscheduling them, overindulging them, and basically raising them to think they're the center of the universe could possibly create happy, well-behaved, reslilient, adults who are able to be productive and contribute to society while realizing that life isn't fair and that's just the way it is so make the best of it? Nothing.

French parents don't make their kids the center of their lives, and that's why they're better parents and the kids are better behaved. They care about the quality of their own lives and aspire to raise kids who are part of that life, but not the center of it. The same way they savor food and mealtimes and are, therefore, not obese like Americans who make their lives living hell by overscheduling and overworking and reduce mealtimes to hurried fuel-ups before the next round of activities. Americans fret that their kids are out of control and don't sleep through the night and have tantrums and aren't patient--yet look at the lives our kids lead. Who could sleep or concentrate or be on an even keel when life is a non-stop blur of playdates and activities and sports and computer games--educational ones, of course, because nothing is worth doing if it's not educational or related to achieving academic excellence? I'm an adult and watching these kids lives makes me tired. Living my kids lives makes me tired, and they're teenagers and I'm not a helicopter parent.

We also obsess over this parenting thing way too much. Witness last year's bestseller Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and now what is sure to become a bestseller Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. We drive ourselves crazy striving for perfection as parents, pouring over books like these as if they contain the fomula for achiving parenting perfection so both we and our kids can get the gold star.

I don't need to read a book about why French parents are better; one look at French people says it all: they take care of themselves and enjoy life, and they don't let having kids ruin those things by  taking over every aspect of their lives. Oh, and also, they let their kids drink wine.