I am such a delinquent Woody Allen fan that I can't remember which movie this quote came from; I do, however remember the character who said it was played by Alan Alda.
"If it bends, it's funny. If it breaks, it isn't."
Ok, ok, I won't be that lazy--let me go look it up.....
It was in Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Sadly, Patrick hates Woody Allen so I never get to watch his movies anymore--I'll have to work on that.
Anyway, back to my original point. This thing with David Letterman and the whole extortion scandal? Fodder for Letterman to be talking about on his show or not? On one hand, I love it that he's not letting this guy get away with extorting him (can you use extortion as a verb like that?). The guy must have thought he was just brilliant and his plan was failproof--of course David Letterman would pay him $2 million to keep his escapades from the public. But fuck that--good for Letterman for doing the unexpected and outing himself and taking the humiliation rather than let that crazy guy exploit him.
Here's the thing, though--while I personally don't care if he cheated and I still think he's funny, what he's on TV to do is entertain people--not make them squirm. The first time he brought up the whole thing it was out of necessity--of course he's going to take advantage of the fact that however many millions of people were tuned in watching his show--what better time to beat the extortion guy to the punch. And the few jokes about the situation last Monday--"I spent the weekend raking hate mail" etc--ok, funny and an ice-breaker. But the plaintive admissions of how tough things are in his marriage, how hurt his wife is, etc--not funny. If there ever were a clear illustration of the point at which something bends (e.g. is funny) and breaks (not funny anymore), it is the 2 minute mark in this video.
While neither funny nor related--and also probably not even interesting to most of you but for some reason I'm sort of obsessed with it- the whole Jon & Kate thing is related in the sense that TLC needs to realize that it is no longer appropriate to air that show at all, even in the proposed "Kate plus 8" format. Maybe it's because I've been through a divorce and know first-hand how ugly it is and how nobody in their right mind would want to be a bystander to that, but the way the whole thing has gone down with Jon and Kate and TLC and the show and the tabloids and just all of it makes me incredibly sad for those kids.
If there's one cardinal rule of divorce that anybody should be able to understand, it's that no matter what goes down between the parents, you don't bring that ugliness to your kids. You may hate your ex or soon-to-be-ex and fervently wish he or she was dead; you may be incredulous that a person you once cared about enough to marry and procreate with can be this crazy or greedy or irrational or selfish or hateful or [insert your own negative characteristic here], but you always have to remember that this person who you loathe or who has caused you pain is still your kid's mom or dad and you don't put that on your kid. You just don't. They have enough to deal with adjusting to life with divorced parents. So for Jon and Kate to bring their ugliness to the whole world, and therefore into their kids' lives forever, is, in my opinion, inexcuseable. I will grant them that sometimes your emotions get the better of you and your judgement is impaired--and that's where I blame TLC for letting this whole thing keep spinning out.
What are they thinking, re-branding the show as "Kate Plus 8"? Because what those kids really need is the whole world to watch as they struggle with life after their parents' divorce? For everyone to think their dad has abandoned them?
