I Asked And I Received
I am either stupid or have a very thick skin, because even though Ask And Ye Shall Receive totally slayed me and my blog, I think the review is hilarious.
The thing is--they're totally right.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Divorce Sucks
I'm supposed to be taking a self-imposed break from the internet for 24 hours but the book I'm reading isn't very riveting (or, I should say, books: Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed; Dr. Laura's In Praise of Stay Home Moms; Chris Brogan's Truth Agents--library for the first two and won the third on a contest on Twitter). That and, to be honest, I'm sad and distracted and can't concentrate on much of anything right now. Why? Because after 3 years of being divorced and struggling with custody issues, trying to do what's best for my kids and, admittedly, also wanting to avoid $30,000 in legal fees, I'm realizing I may not be able to avoid it. I don't usually go this TMI on this blog--or at least I haven't for a while--but tonight I just feel like it and, since I think I've skipped posting in here for long enough that nobody much is reading anymore, it feels like as good a place as any to air this.
The reason divorce sucks is because there are no easy answers. The kids are supposed to be with me tonight. At 7 their dad brings Mimi here. Not Matthew. Lately has been deciding that since Mimi won't stay with him anymore (long story...bottom line she basically sleeps at my house full-time now, with his consent) Matthew should stay with him more (NOT with my consent). So tonight he told Mimi let's go, didn't tell Matthew they were leaving, and he dropped Mimi here. I called his house and Matthew answered, said he didn't know daddy had even left. Here's the thing: what the hell do you do in this situation? Poor Matthew is trapped in the middle. I can't seem upset or mad to him or he'll feel bad and think it's his fault. I can't call Eric to discuss it because when I tried twice, Matthew picked up both times and I didn't want to let on to him I'm upset. If I kick up a fuss and get into it with Eric--or even if I calmly request that he bring Matthew to my house as is mandated by the custody agreement--it will make Matthew feel bad. So instead Matthew is there and I'm here and Eric gets away with this for the millionth time.
I already spent $500 having my lawyer send Eric a letter a few months ago telling him that I was "concerned about your unilateral changes in the custodial arrangements" and that if he didn't start sticking to the court-ordered custody schedule I'd be "forced to take stronger measures." Obviously the letter meant nothing to him; now it's on me to either allow my kid to slip away from me without protest or put him through some version of Kramer Vs. Kramer. Either way it sucks--I guess it's on me to decide which sucks least and do that. Which, at this point, looks like it's probably the expensive, potentially traumatic for the kids custody battle option.
Sigh. Wish us luck.
I'm supposed to be taking a self-imposed break from the internet for 24 hours but the book I'm reading isn't very riveting (or, I should say, books: Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed; Dr. Laura's In Praise of Stay Home Moms; Chris Brogan's Truth Agents--library for the first two and won the third on a contest on Twitter). That and, to be honest, I'm sad and distracted and can't concentrate on much of anything right now. Why? Because after 3 years of being divorced and struggling with custody issues, trying to do what's best for my kids and, admittedly, also wanting to avoid $30,000 in legal fees, I'm realizing I may not be able to avoid it. I don't usually go this TMI on this blog--or at least I haven't for a while--but tonight I just feel like it and, since I think I've skipped posting in here for long enough that nobody much is reading anymore, it feels like as good a place as any to air this.
The reason divorce sucks is because there are no easy answers. The kids are supposed to be with me tonight. At 7 their dad brings Mimi here. Not Matthew. Lately has been deciding that since Mimi won't stay with him anymore (long story...bottom line she basically sleeps at my house full-time now, with his consent) Matthew should stay with him more (NOT with my consent). So tonight he told Mimi let's go, didn't tell Matthew they were leaving, and he dropped Mimi here. I called his house and Matthew answered, said he didn't know daddy had even left. Here's the thing: what the hell do you do in this situation? Poor Matthew is trapped in the middle. I can't seem upset or mad to him or he'll feel bad and think it's his fault. I can't call Eric to discuss it because when I tried twice, Matthew picked up both times and I didn't want to let on to him I'm upset. If I kick up a fuss and get into it with Eric--or even if I calmly request that he bring Matthew to my house as is mandated by the custody agreement--it will make Matthew feel bad. So instead Matthew is there and I'm here and Eric gets away with this for the millionth time.
I already spent $500 having my lawyer send Eric a letter a few months ago telling him that I was "concerned about your unilateral changes in the custodial arrangements" and that if he didn't start sticking to the court-ordered custody schedule I'd be "forced to take stronger measures." Obviously the letter meant nothing to him; now it's on me to either allow my kid to slip away from me without protest or put him through some version of Kramer Vs. Kramer. Either way it sucks--I guess it's on me to decide which sucks least and do that. Which, at this point, looks like it's probably the expensive, potentially traumatic for the kids custody battle option.
Sigh. Wish us luck.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
