Spanish for Nannies
LMAO--this is hilarious.
And--sidebar (as my friend Temperance says): my ex mother-in-law did once actually check her housekeeper's bag to see if she was stealing. I'm not even kidding. Luckily her housekeeper was just black, not Spanish, so she could humiliate her in English.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
New Blog
Last night Patrick mentioned that he needed to start learning how to increase traffic to his company's website. Search engine optimization is what it's called, I told him. How do I know this? Because half of what I do at work is either read marketing newsletters or research stuff related to websites--either creating them, using them or promoting them.
Anyway, I told him I'd look through my email inbox because I know I've gotten lots of articles about SEO. This morning I started thinking about it and realized how much information I've come across during the past year as I've basically had to teach myself all things web-related. One thing I'm particularly big on is researching a topic that I think is important to our website or business, with the intention of passing on the information and having someone realize I'm not just pulling stuff out of my a$$ and that I actually come up with some good ideas that make good business sense. Naturally, though, almost all of my research/ideas fall on deaf ears because the reality of the business world--or at least mine--seems to be that unless you're in a position of authority, no matter how good your ideas are, you can pretty much forget about implementing them.
At any rate, it dawned on me that it's a shame most of the information I come across goes no further than being filed away as mental notes about how something could or should be done. Much of my time seems to be spent obtaining a bunch of information about a given topic--why not write my own articles about it? While blogging about my feelings about this or that is fun, it's not exactly profitable; commercial writing, however, is a different story.
I then set up a new blog--Mizz Information (was supposed to have been Miss Information, but that was already taken...you can read about why over there)--where I'll be writing about stuff related to marketing, web stuff, and other business-related topics.
Last night Patrick mentioned that he needed to start learning how to increase traffic to his company's website. Search engine optimization is what it's called, I told him. How do I know this? Because half of what I do at work is either read marketing newsletters or research stuff related to websites--either creating them, using them or promoting them.
Anyway, I told him I'd look through my email inbox because I know I've gotten lots of articles about SEO. This morning I started thinking about it and realized how much information I've come across during the past year as I've basically had to teach myself all things web-related. One thing I'm particularly big on is researching a topic that I think is important to our website or business, with the intention of passing on the information and having someone realize I'm not just pulling stuff out of my a$$ and that I actually come up with some good ideas that make good business sense. Naturally, though, almost all of my research/ideas fall on deaf ears because the reality of the business world--or at least mine--seems to be that unless you're in a position of authority, no matter how good your ideas are, you can pretty much forget about implementing them.
At any rate, it dawned on me that it's a shame most of the information I come across goes no further than being filed away as mental notes about how something could or should be done. Much of my time seems to be spent obtaining a bunch of information about a given topic--why not write my own articles about it? While blogging about my feelings about this or that is fun, it's not exactly profitable; commercial writing, however, is a different story.
I then set up a new blog--Mizz Information (was supposed to have been Miss Information, but that was already taken...you can read about why over there)--where I'll be writing about stuff related to marketing, web stuff, and other business-related topics.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wanna Play? Not!
I’ve written before about the readers/commenters on The Washington Post’s On Balance blog and how nasty they are. Yesterday's post—written by the resident stay-home dad guest blogger-- was about the value of mom or dad only playgroups. While nobody flogged the author about how stupid or small-minded he was--he was actually referring to ANOTHER article about the same topic and the nasty comments were directed at that person--I marveled once again at how self-righteous and same-minded the posters there are.
Day in and day out, regardless of the topic, the regular posters pounce on whatever idea the author touches on, ripping the author for his or her opinions on the matter at hand or writing style or whatever it is they can find to take issue with. It's like (or not "like"--they actually do) they sit at their computers, fingers drumming impatiently, until the day's post goes up at approximately 7 am and immediately commence the rip-fest with the ever-triumphant "First!" post. Bonus points if they can find something to make a personal dig at Leslie about--the names of her kids, the misuse of a word, a way in which someone perceives that she's contradicted herself, her looks--anything. Ditto any other author--the topic is stupid, the person can't write, Leslie is stupid for featuring this or that particular guest blogger, etc, etc.
Anyway, the thing that most cracks me up about the regular posters is what back-patters they all are--to hear them tell it their lives are all perfect: their marriages, their parenting styles, their kids, their jobs, their beliefs...they all act like they've got the whole thing figured out and anyone who thinks or does anything differently is a moron. One of my greatest satisfactions in life is knowing from personal experience that most people have whole Oprah-esque facets of their lives that nobody would ever guess just looking at them--and I'm sure the OnBalance regulars are no exception. I'm sure that more than a few honestly think their lives are perfect when, in fact, their husbands are cheating on them or they personally have some fatal flaw or whatever. I have no basis for saying this other than that it seems to me that almost everywhere I look this is the case--everyone seems to have some dirty secret--so the chances that the OnBalance crowd are among this flawed population are pretty strong.
Yesterday's post was particularly amusing because everyone was, as usual, so adamant that there could never be any impropriety between moms and dads in a playgroup scenario. Everyone, most of them assert, knows that there's absolutely nothing wrong with stay-home dads fraternizing with stay-home moms. Every interaction would naturally be totally above-board, totally innocent, totally child-centric, totally intellectual--because everyone in the world is as intellectual and politically-correct as they are, right? Why, the mere thought that maybe moms and dads playing unsupervised might not be the best idea in the world is blasphemous and discriminatory! Every one of them seems to know for a fact that all adults have perfect boundaries and that if a dad were to invite a mom over for a little backyard swim of a playdate of COURSE it would only be about the kids and they wouldn't even notice each other in their wet swimsuits....
Either these people don't know what they're talking about or I live in a different universe entirely, because my reaction to the question "Are mom/dad playdates a good idea?" is a resounding "no!" Go watch the movie Little Children and tell me what you think. Or Google "married dating", for example: you get 1,420,000 hits. Over 500,000 for "swinging parents." And that's just two totally off-the-cuff search tries. Or, better yet, go initiate a playdate with an opposite-sex parent and see what the reactions of your spouse and his/hers are.
Bottom line is that truth is stranger than fiction and you see a lot when you live in the burbs long enough. Maybe those OnBalance posters' problem is that they have always been at the office all day and never have gotten to experience the wacky world of life in the burbs during school hours.
I’ve written before about the readers/commenters on The Washington Post’s On Balance blog and how nasty they are. Yesterday's post—written by the resident stay-home dad guest blogger-- was about the value of mom or dad only playgroups. While nobody flogged the author about how stupid or small-minded he was--he was actually referring to ANOTHER article about the same topic and the nasty comments were directed at that person--I marveled once again at how self-righteous and same-minded the posters there are.
Day in and day out, regardless of the topic, the regular posters pounce on whatever idea the author touches on, ripping the author for his or her opinions on the matter at hand or writing style or whatever it is they can find to take issue with. It's like (or not "like"--they actually do) they sit at their computers, fingers drumming impatiently, until the day's post goes up at approximately 7 am and immediately commence the rip-fest with the ever-triumphant "First!" post. Bonus points if they can find something to make a personal dig at Leslie about--the names of her kids, the misuse of a word, a way in which someone perceives that she's contradicted herself, her looks--anything. Ditto any other author--the topic is stupid, the person can't write, Leslie is stupid for featuring this or that particular guest blogger, etc, etc.
Anyway, the thing that most cracks me up about the regular posters is what back-patters they all are--to hear them tell it their lives are all perfect: their marriages, their parenting styles, their kids, their jobs, their beliefs...they all act like they've got the whole thing figured out and anyone who thinks or does anything differently is a moron. One of my greatest satisfactions in life is knowing from personal experience that most people have whole Oprah-esque facets of their lives that nobody would ever guess just looking at them--and I'm sure the OnBalance regulars are no exception. I'm sure that more than a few honestly think their lives are perfect when, in fact, their husbands are cheating on them or they personally have some fatal flaw or whatever. I have no basis for saying this other than that it seems to me that almost everywhere I look this is the case--everyone seems to have some dirty secret--so the chances that the OnBalance crowd are among this flawed population are pretty strong.
Yesterday's post was particularly amusing because everyone was, as usual, so adamant that there could never be any impropriety between moms and dads in a playgroup scenario. Everyone, most of them assert, knows that there's absolutely nothing wrong with stay-home dads fraternizing with stay-home moms. Every interaction would naturally be totally above-board, totally innocent, totally child-centric, totally intellectual--because everyone in the world is as intellectual and politically-correct as they are, right? Why, the mere thought that maybe moms and dads playing unsupervised might not be the best idea in the world is blasphemous and discriminatory! Every one of them seems to know for a fact that all adults have perfect boundaries and that if a dad were to invite a mom over for a little backyard swim of a playdate of COURSE it would only be about the kids and they wouldn't even notice each other in their wet swimsuits....
Either these people don't know what they're talking about or I live in a different universe entirely, because my reaction to the question "Are mom/dad playdates a good idea?" is a resounding "no!" Go watch the movie Little Children and tell me what you think. Or Google "married dating", for example: you get 1,420,000 hits. Over 500,000 for "swinging parents." And that's just two totally off-the-cuff search tries. Or, better yet, go initiate a playdate with an opposite-sex parent and see what the reactions of your spouse and his/hers are.
Bottom line is that truth is stranger than fiction and you see a lot when you live in the burbs long enough. Maybe those OnBalance posters' problem is that they have always been at the office all day and never have gotten to experience the wacky world of life in the burbs during school hours.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Virtual Genius or Exploitation?
Maybe the fates are trying to speak to me--just as I was lamenting about the fact that I haven't written any posts or anything else lately because I've been busy at my actual job, my friend emails me this article.
Apparently two recent books tout the idea of outsourcing both business and personal tasks to "virtual assistants" in India. As is often the case with my posts, I am recommending these books based only on their descriptions--I have yet to read them-- so for all I know my interpretation of their content may be totally off base. The books are The 4-Hour Work-Week:Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere , and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss and The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman.
From the two seconds I had to devote to thinking/writing about this topic right now it seems that the premise of these two books is the concept that outsourcing tasks both great and small to India is the path to success here in the good ol' USA. The beauty of this, apparently, is that you can pay these "virtual assistants" $5 to $10 to do as much of your job as possible, while you continue to keep the job that pays you way more than $5 to $10 an hour.
I am about as far from intellectual and/or PC as you can get--I barely read the paper or watch the news, I love Walmart and fast food, and I'm sure that the corn conspiracy laid out in The Omnivore's Dilema (again, as I gather from hearing other peoples' accounts of ) are sheer propaganda. Yet even I can't help but wonder about the ethics of the concepts laid out in these two books.
If it's wrong to outsource manufacturing clothes and products to low-paid workers in other countries is it really ok to outsource tasks like researching an article or ordering flowers for your wife? Or is $5 to $10 an hour a respectable wage in India and it's therefore not exploitation to farm out any possible task to these "virtual assistants" there? And even if it is a decent wage, is it wrong in the way using illegal immigrants here rather than giving those jobs to hard-working Americans is wrong? Or is that not even wrong, and if Americans are too lazy or too greedy to do work that others will gladly do for far less money, that's their problem, not society's?
At any rate, if you read this blog you already know that the concept of being paid as much as possible for doing as little as possible is near and dear to me, so I will definitely check these books out. I can't imagine what I personally would outsource but the concept is intriguing.
Maybe the fates are trying to speak to me--just as I was lamenting about the fact that I haven't written any posts or anything else lately because I've been busy at my actual job, my friend emails me this article.
Apparently two recent books tout the idea of outsourcing both business and personal tasks to "virtual assistants" in India. As is often the case with my posts, I am recommending these books based only on their descriptions--I have yet to read them-- so for all I know my interpretation of their content may be totally off base. The books are The 4-Hour Work-Week:Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere , and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss and The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman.
From the two seconds I had to devote to thinking/writing about this topic right now it seems that the premise of these two books is the concept that outsourcing tasks both great and small to India is the path to success here in the good ol' USA. The beauty of this, apparently, is that you can pay these "virtual assistants" $5 to $10 to do as much of your job as possible, while you continue to keep the job that pays you way more than $5 to $10 an hour.
I am about as far from intellectual and/or PC as you can get--I barely read the paper or watch the news, I love Walmart and fast food, and I'm sure that the corn conspiracy laid out in The Omnivore's Dilema (again, as I gather from hearing other peoples' accounts of ) are sheer propaganda. Yet even I can't help but wonder about the ethics of the concepts laid out in these two books.
If it's wrong to outsource manufacturing clothes and products to low-paid workers in other countries is it really ok to outsource tasks like researching an article or ordering flowers for your wife? Or is $5 to $10 an hour a respectable wage in India and it's therefore not exploitation to farm out any possible task to these "virtual assistants" there? And even if it is a decent wage, is it wrong in the way using illegal immigrants here rather than giving those jobs to hard-working Americans is wrong? Or is that not even wrong, and if Americans are too lazy or too greedy to do work that others will gladly do for far less money, that's their problem, not society's?
At any rate, if you read this blog you already know that the concept of being paid as much as possible for doing as little as possible is near and dear to me, so I will definitely check these books out. I can't imagine what I personally would outsource but the concept is intriguing.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Best Valentine's Day Movie Ever
Have you ever seen the Family Circus Valentine's Day special? It is the BEST holiday cartoon ever, beating out every Christmas, Halloween, Easter or any other holiday special. Except possibly The Tiny Tree...but that's another post for another time.
I love the description of the Family Circus movie on toonarific.com:
"Fever pitch" indeed! Granted I haven't seen this movie in, oh, say 20+ years, but to this day I remember every detail. Ok, maybe not every detail, but the overall warm-fuzzy feel. Not to ruin it for you, but the kids are busy making Valentines for the parents--I forget who's making what and/or if the three older kids are in cahoots making one together, but someone is crafting this huge heart with a wood frame, covered in red paper, etc. Then the adorable round-headed PJ (the baby) makes some little scribble and the other kids make fun of him for it. I think the "fever pitch" this review refers to is when Barfy (love that dog name!) does a the slow-mo "NOOOO Barfy!!!" run into the huge paper valentine and crashes through it, wrecking it.
Then the parents coo over PJ's scribble and the mom, in her ever valium-calm voice, moralizes that it doesn't matter what the actual Valentine looks like, it's the thought that counts.
Anyway, I guess it's too little, too late now but I'm going to spend from now until next Valentine's Day trying to find this movie on DVD.
Have you ever seen the Family Circus Valentine's Day special? It is the BEST holiday cartoon ever, beating out every Christmas, Halloween, Easter or any other holiday special. Except possibly The Tiny Tree...but that's another post for another time.
I love the description of the Family Circus movie on toonarific.com:
The excitement of Valentine's Day reaches a fever pitch as the kids Billy, Dolly, Jeffy and PJ all try to outdo each other's Valentine's Day card to their parents. In the end, everyone learns the meaning of true love.
"Fever pitch" indeed! Granted I haven't seen this movie in, oh, say 20+ years, but to this day I remember every detail. Ok, maybe not every detail, but the overall warm-fuzzy feel. Not to ruin it for you, but the kids are busy making Valentines for the parents--I forget who's making what and/or if the three older kids are in cahoots making one together, but someone is crafting this huge heart with a wood frame, covered in red paper, etc. Then the adorable round-headed PJ (the baby) makes some little scribble and the other kids make fun of him for it. I think the "fever pitch" this review refers to is when Barfy (love that dog name!) does a the slow-mo "NOOOO Barfy!!!" run into the huge paper valentine and crashes through it, wrecking it.
Then the parents coo over PJ's scribble and the mom, in her ever valium-calm voice, moralizes that it doesn't matter what the actual Valentine looks like, it's the thought that counts.
Anyway, I guess it's too little, too late now but I'm going to spend from now until next Valentine's Day trying to find this movie on DVD.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
A few words from Matthew
I was sitting here at the computer playing--shocker--Big Kahuna Reef 2--and Matthew came into the room. I said I'd be done in one second, I just had to write something in my blog. This is what he told me to write:
Then, watching me write it he said he wanted to write something himself and made me leave the room. This is what he wrote, in all its 72pt "Chiller" splendor:
I was sitting here at the computer playing--shocker--Big Kahuna Reef 2--and Matthew came into the room. I said I'd be done in one second, I just had to write something in my blog. This is what he told me to write:
My son is better than my daughter
Then, watching me write it he said he wanted to write something himself and made me leave the room. This is what he wrote, in all its 72pt "Chiller" splendor:
My mom is a great mom ; and she makes horrible decisions on where we go out to dinner. Example: tonight I almost puked on the table.
Gross.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Just got back from Chicago--it was like -23 degrees there today so I made it out in the nick of time. I love my sister Cassie but I don't know how she can deal with living there!
We had a great time reaping the benefits of Patrick's executiveness--when I checked in I realized we had a whole extra room hooked to our suite so Cassie and her family came Saturday and stayed the day/night. We got to hang out and have fun while Patrick worked non-stop from 6 am till 11 pm Friday and Saturday...and tonight, tomorrow, and Tuesday.
Let me just say this before moving on: it is true that Frette linens--I believe they are one of Oprah's favorite things--are quite possibly worth the like $100 per towel price. They had Frette linens in our suite--as well as L'Occitane bath products--and I am addicted to the sheets and the towels.
Ok, anyway, we had a great time and I'm back but poor Patrick is still working 'round the clock. Granted, his "work" for tonight involves going out to some ritzy steakhouse for dinner then to yet another hospitality suite gathering. But when you have to be on at 6 am and stay on until 11 pm every day for a week it is exhausting even if a lot of what you're doing is shmoozing.
Speaking of work--and I didn't even plan this nifty transition--I was going through some old emails and reading about this French woman who wrote a book on why people shouldn't have kids. Unfortunately it's not available in English translation yet, but once it is I will surely be reading it and you'll surely be hearing about it. In the meantime, though, we can all read her other book which is available in the US and in English: Bonjour Laziness-Why Hard Work Doesn't Pay.
Or, if your laziness extends out of the workplace and into your personal life in the form of not reading books, you can just read this interview with her to get the gist. Actually, you probably have to read that interview and the blurb on the page about the book to get the whole idea of what the book is presumably about. Namely, one of the universal truth's I've discovered thus far in life--that the people who do the least work and/or are the most incompetent get rewarded while the smartest, most motivated people get more work and less pay when they have to take up the slack the incompetent ones create.
Anyway, I'll be interested to see what she says and if it matches my observations.
We had a great time reaping the benefits of Patrick's executiveness--when I checked in I realized we had a whole extra room hooked to our suite so Cassie and her family came Saturday and stayed the day/night. We got to hang out and have fun while Patrick worked non-stop from 6 am till 11 pm Friday and Saturday...and tonight, tomorrow, and Tuesday.
Let me just say this before moving on: it is true that Frette linens--I believe they are one of Oprah's favorite things--are quite possibly worth the like $100 per towel price. They had Frette linens in our suite--as well as L'Occitane bath products--and I am addicted to the sheets and the towels.
Ok, anyway, we had a great time and I'm back but poor Patrick is still working 'round the clock. Granted, his "work" for tonight involves going out to some ritzy steakhouse for dinner then to yet another hospitality suite gathering. But when you have to be on at 6 am and stay on until 11 pm every day for a week it is exhausting even if a lot of what you're doing is shmoozing.
Speaking of work--and I didn't even plan this nifty transition--I was going through some old emails and reading about this French woman who wrote a book on why people shouldn't have kids. Unfortunately it's not available in English translation yet, but once it is I will surely be reading it and you'll surely be hearing about it. In the meantime, though, we can all read her other book which is available in the US and in English: Bonjour Laziness-Why Hard Work Doesn't Pay.
Or, if your laziness extends out of the workplace and into your personal life in the form of not reading books, you can just read this interview with her to get the gist. Actually, you probably have to read that interview and the blurb on the page about the book to get the whole idea of what the book is presumably about. Namely, one of the universal truth's I've discovered thus far in life--that the people who do the least work and/or are the most incompetent get rewarded while the smartest, most motivated people get more work and less pay when they have to take up the slack the incompetent ones create.
Anyway, I'll be interested to see what she says and if it matches my observations.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
I was doing really well with posting for a few days there, wasn't I? I have actually been busy doing real work at work lately and haven't had a chance to write in here--can you believe that?
Poor Patrick is en route to Chicago for his big annual meeting. He was supposed to be on a 10:40 am flight, which got cancelled, then a 1:20 pm, which finally took off at about 2:15 and was supposed to land at 3:10. I just checked Southwest and it now is scheduled to arrive at 4:10 pm. I don't know which is my worse nightmare--being stuck on the runway for hours or being stuck in the air, circling the airport because the plane can't land. How he does it without Xanax I do not know--just thinking about it is enough to make me have to take some.
I'm supposed to go to join him/visit Cassie on Friday and am praying the weather improves because, as much as I love Cassie and Patrick--and especially as much as I want to see my old friends from my old job--I don't think I could deal with the all-day ordeal of flight delays and stress.
Anyway, better get back to work--big boss is coming.
Poor Patrick is en route to Chicago for his big annual meeting. He was supposed to be on a 10:40 am flight, which got cancelled, then a 1:20 pm, which finally took off at about 2:15 and was supposed to land at 3:10. I just checked Southwest and it now is scheduled to arrive at 4:10 pm. I don't know which is my worse nightmare--being stuck on the runway for hours or being stuck in the air, circling the airport because the plane can't land. How he does it without Xanax I do not know--just thinking about it is enough to make me have to take some.
I'm supposed to go to join him/visit Cassie on Friday and am praying the weather improves because, as much as I love Cassie and Patrick--and especially as much as I want to see my old friends from my old job--I don't think I could deal with the all-day ordeal of flight delays and stress.
Anyway, better get back to work--big boss is coming.
Monday, February 04, 2008
So you think you can dance....but can you do it Fridays at 11 am?
Mimi just came in and excitedly announced that there's a new hip hop class for adults at the Olney dance studio, being taught by some guy who was a finalist on "So You Think You Can Dance?"
Um, hells YEAH I think I could dance if this dude could teach me. All excited I clicked on the link with the details, scrolled down the list of his accomplishments including "Danced with Beyonce at the VMAs" and "National Pepsi Commercial with Mariah Carey" and am ready to pick up the phone and sign up when I notice the time the class will be held: Fridays at 11 am.
Are you kidding me? Which adult in Olney, MD is going to take a hip hop dance class at 11 am on a Friday? That would be me--except for I happen to be at WORK at 11 am on Fridays.
Wah! There goes my fallback career of 40 year old, white hip-hop star (that's in case the book I have yet to write doesn't end up being a best seller.)
Mimi just came in and excitedly announced that there's a new hip hop class for adults at the Olney dance studio, being taught by some guy who was a finalist on "So You Think You Can Dance?"
Um, hells YEAH I think I could dance if this dude could teach me. All excited I clicked on the link with the details, scrolled down the list of his accomplishments including "Danced with Beyonce at the VMAs" and "National Pepsi Commercial with Mariah Carey" and am ready to pick up the phone and sign up when I notice the time the class will be held: Fridays at 11 am.
Are you kidding me? Which adult in Olney, MD is going to take a hip hop dance class at 11 am on a Friday? That would be me--except for I happen to be at WORK at 11 am on Fridays.
Wah! There goes my fallback career of 40 year old, white hip-hop star (that's in case the book I have yet to write doesn't end up being a best seller.)
My dad is going to be Steve Jobs' new best friend
Wow--my dad made Google's top news page today with the results of his study about iPods and pacemakers.
How psyched is Apple going to be? Too bad my dad works for FDA so even if they did want to express their gratitude for the upcoming glut of sales to pacemaker-wearers he couldn't accept.
Does FDA permit family members to accept if he can't? Sadly, something tells me no.
Oh well--anyway, my dad now offically outranks me as most famous Bassen. Or does Oprah trump Apple?
Wow--my dad made Google's top news page today with the results of his study about iPods and pacemakers.
How psyched is Apple going to be? Too bad my dad works for FDA so even if they did want to express their gratitude for the upcoming glut of sales to pacemaker-wearers he couldn't accept.
Does FDA permit family members to accept if he can't? Sadly, something tells me no.
Oh well--anyway, my dad now offically outranks me as most famous Bassen. Or does Oprah trump Apple?
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Don't even try to sell Matthew any of that fake ass
This is a video of Matthew when he was 2 and a half, being asked what his favorite animal a the zoo is. My dad was kind enough to transfer it from video--and apparently in the nick of time. The tape broke as he was working with it--no doubt from having been watched and rewound and watched again probably hundreds of times.
This is a video of Matthew when he was 2 and a half, being asked what his favorite animal a the zoo is. My dad was kind enough to transfer it from video--and apparently in the nick of time. The tape broke as he was working with it--no doubt from having been watched and rewound and watched again probably hundreds of times.
Time Toilet
Last Thursday I borrowed a 7 day book from the library: Critical by Robin Cook. I had every intention of finishing it, what with it being a quick read, but sadly spent basically all my free time this past week and weekend playing Big Kahuna Reef 2.
When Patrick first introduced me to the world of BKR I just stared at the screen not even understanding how to play or how it could be fun at all. Long story short--that was like a year and a half ago and I became fully obsessed with it, then somehow broke my addiction for a good six or more months. Lately I started up again and wish I hadn't; it truly is like computer crack. "I'll just play one quick game before I (fill in blank with any activity from recreational to mandatory)." One game turns into two, etc, etc until I am forced to stop because I have to leave the house to do something. If I don't have anywhere to be I can easily waste probably 2 hours or even more.
Anyway, now I'm jonesing because I just used my few free minutes before I have to take the kids to Hebrew school to write this instead of playing my "one quick game." So I have to go play it right now...and I dare you to try it, but don't hold me responsible when you too become obsessed with it.
p.s. I don't know why the spell check in Blogger isn't working lately, so pardon any spelling mistakes....I'm missing valuable BKR2 minutes right now and can't waste time cutting and pasting into Word to check spelling.
Last Thursday I borrowed a 7 day book from the library: Critical by Robin Cook. I had every intention of finishing it, what with it being a quick read, but sadly spent basically all my free time this past week and weekend playing Big Kahuna Reef 2.
When Patrick first introduced me to the world of BKR I just stared at the screen not even understanding how to play or how it could be fun at all. Long story short--that was like a year and a half ago and I became fully obsessed with it, then somehow broke my addiction for a good six or more months. Lately I started up again and wish I hadn't; it truly is like computer crack. "I'll just play one quick game before I (fill in blank with any activity from recreational to mandatory)." One game turns into two, etc, etc until I am forced to stop because I have to leave the house to do something. If I don't have anywhere to be I can easily waste probably 2 hours or even more.
Anyway, now I'm jonesing because I just used my few free minutes before I have to take the kids to Hebrew school to write this instead of playing my "one quick game." So I have to go play it right now...and I dare you to try it, but don't hold me responsible when you too become obsessed with it.
p.s. I don't know why the spell check in Blogger isn't working lately, so pardon any spelling mistakes....I'm missing valuable BKR2 minutes right now and can't waste time cutting and pasting into Word to check spelling.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Having older sick kids is a lot less stressful than having young sick kids. Mimi called me at work this morning with her best sick voice on (she was at Eric's) telling me her stomach hurt so I said she could stay home and I'd come get her from his house at noon. I picked her up, we went to Safeway for popsicles and Gatorade (her choices) and no sooner did we get in the door to the house then the nurse from Matthew's school called saying that HE had a stomach ache. So off in the rain we went to pick him up too. Now they're both home--and magically recovered, at least for the moment. Matthew laid on the sofa for 30 minutes or so then came into the kitchen asking for Honey Nut Cheerios--"A LOT of Cheerios." Then there came Mimi wanting perogies (sp?).
Now I'm "working" from home and trying not to drink Diet Pepsi--I'm trying to detox from it and artificial sweetners in general. It's not going so well--I swear there is the liquid equivalent of nicotine in Diet Pepsi because I crave it like crazy. They need to invent the soda patch or gum or something. Or, since it's not like it affects the lungs or throat like smoke does, I guess drinking it is probably just about the same thing as wearing it or chewing it. And helpful suggestions like just drink water flavored with a little lemon or--even grosser--drink soda with real sugar are the equivalent of telling a smoker to hold a golf pencil and pretend it's a cigarette or something. In other words, useless, but thanks just the same.
Speaking of hopeless cases of addiction, Patrick and I were watching Intervention last week and it featured this woman who was addicted to so many prescription drugs I don't even remember what they were. Pain pills but also something like 20 muscle relaxers a day plus other stuff. I guess she had either arthritis or maybe Lyme disease but they weren't sure; from what Patrick and I could tell the main physical ailment she had was trying to function as an upright human being on 40 kinds of sedatives at once. Not to make fun of someone's serious plight or anything (but you know I will) it was actually funny as hell. She would do stuff like just fall asleep while she was eating, basically folding in half at the waist so her face ended up in her plate or, my favorite, try to talk and just totally botch it. She was talking about going to Taco.....Taco....Taco.....girl just could NOT remember the second word of my favorite restaurant, Taco Bell! Anyway, not to be mean but sorry, it was very entertaining.
You know a night didn't go by without us watching a movie--this time it was Superbad. Yes, we also saw it in the theater so we knew how bad it was--according to everyone but us, that is. Us and all the teenage boys of the world probably. I'm sorry but it is HILARIOUS if you're not above lots of crude sexual humor and swearing. How can you not laugh at lines like, in response to "if you scratch our backs we'll scratch yours," "Um, the thing about my back is...it's located on my cock." Sue us or call us morons, or both, but we laughed hysterically through the whole thing--twice now, and would probably laugh just as hard no matter how many times we watch it.
Now I'm "working" from home and trying not to drink Diet Pepsi--I'm trying to detox from it and artificial sweetners in general. It's not going so well--I swear there is the liquid equivalent of nicotine in Diet Pepsi because I crave it like crazy. They need to invent the soda patch or gum or something. Or, since it's not like it affects the lungs or throat like smoke does, I guess drinking it is probably just about the same thing as wearing it or chewing it. And helpful suggestions like just drink water flavored with a little lemon or--even grosser--drink soda with real sugar are the equivalent of telling a smoker to hold a golf pencil and pretend it's a cigarette or something. In other words, useless, but thanks just the same.
Speaking of hopeless cases of addiction, Patrick and I were watching Intervention last week and it featured this woman who was addicted to so many prescription drugs I don't even remember what they were. Pain pills but also something like 20 muscle relaxers a day plus other stuff. I guess she had either arthritis or maybe Lyme disease but they weren't sure; from what Patrick and I could tell the main physical ailment she had was trying to function as an upright human being on 40 kinds of sedatives at once. Not to make fun of someone's serious plight or anything (but you know I will) it was actually funny as hell. She would do stuff like just fall asleep while she was eating, basically folding in half at the waist so her face ended up in her plate or, my favorite, try to talk and just totally botch it. She was talking about going to Taco.....Taco....Taco.....girl just could NOT remember the second word of my favorite restaurant, Taco Bell! Anyway, not to be mean but sorry, it was very entertaining.
You know a night didn't go by without us watching a movie--this time it was Superbad. Yes, we also saw it in the theater so we knew how bad it was--according to everyone but us, that is. Us and all the teenage boys of the world probably. I'm sorry but it is HILARIOUS if you're not above lots of crude sexual humor and swearing. How can you not laugh at lines like, in response to "if you scratch our backs we'll scratch yours," "Um, the thing about my back is...it's located on my cock." Sue us or call us morons, or both, but we laughed hysterically through the whole thing--twice now, and would probably laugh just as hard no matter how many times we watch it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Smart Sacks
I just got an email from Matthew's elementary school with a reminder about "Family Swim Night" and noticed that the cost is either $5 or one food item per person. Food for the swim night, I thought, puzzled? I read further and saw that the food will be donated to the "Smart Sacks" program run by a local food bank. Smart Sacks is a program that gives a backpack full of kid-friendly food to elementary school children at risk of hunger so they have food to eat on the weekend when there is no school breakfast or lunch.
I'm sorry but reading it just brought tears to my eyes. It has honestly never occurred to me that the kids who get subsidized meals at school may actually not have food at home. It breaks my heart to realize that yes, there are actually kids out there who have no food at home, and makes me feel like a moron for living such a sheltered life that it has never ocurred to me.
I know for a fact that it would NEVER occur to my kids; never for one minute of their lives have they had to worry about food other than to complain about what they don't like or to argue about what restaurant they want to go to.
Tonight we'll be talking about it--that's for sure. And we'll also be donating to the Manna Food Bank. If any of you are so inclined you can also donate online.
I just got an email from Matthew's elementary school with a reminder about "Family Swim Night" and noticed that the cost is either $5 or one food item per person. Food for the swim night, I thought, puzzled? I read further and saw that the food will be donated to the "Smart Sacks" program run by a local food bank. Smart Sacks is a program that gives a backpack full of kid-friendly food to elementary school children at risk of hunger so they have food to eat on the weekend when there is no school breakfast or lunch.
I'm sorry but reading it just brought tears to my eyes. It has honestly never occurred to me that the kids who get subsidized meals at school may actually not have food at home. It breaks my heart to realize that yes, there are actually kids out there who have no food at home, and makes me feel like a moron for living such a sheltered life that it has never ocurred to me.
I know for a fact that it would NEVER occur to my kids; never for one minute of their lives have they had to worry about food other than to complain about what they don't like or to argue about what restaurant they want to go to.
Tonight we'll be talking about it--that's for sure. And we'll also be donating to the Manna Food Bank. If any of you are so inclined you can also donate online.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
New Stewart Lewis Book
Hey--if you followed my advice and read Rockstarlet, Augusten Burroughs' assistant Stewart Lewis' first book (apologies, Stewart, for being forever referred to by me as Augusten's assistant...) you will be excited to know that he's written another book, Relative Stranger, to be released this summer.
Also, you can now download a chapter from Augusten's upcoming book, A Wolf At The Table, on his website.
Hey--if you followed my advice and read Rockstarlet, Augusten Burroughs' assistant Stewart Lewis' first book (apologies, Stewart, for being forever referred to by me as Augusten's assistant...) you will be excited to know that he's written another book, Relative Stranger, to be released this summer.
Also, you can now download a chapter from Augusten's upcoming book, A Wolf At The Table, on his website.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Write it and they will read?
So I'm reading Web Content Report right now and in the "What's Working" section, where they feature random sites, blogs, trends, etc, they mention "The Non-Blogger's Blogger," someone called Mimi Smartypants. They say she decided to keep an online journal of "every silly little thought to enter her entirely too witty 30-year old brain..." which ultimately got published in book form.
Isn't writing every silly little thought to enter one's mind the definition of blogging? What makes her a "non-bloggers blogger"? Apparently what makes her one is the fact that, either by her own initiative or just by chance--it doesn't specify which--her journal entries were eventually published. Web Content Report goes on to say "Yes, everyone has a blog now...(but) everything this young woman writes down is colored with humor and shaded with charisma." Um, isn't that true of almost every blog worth reading? What makes her so special her blog is--to steal a phrase from Seinfeld--"book-worthy"?
I guess this is hardly a new trend and surely this isn't the only blog-to-book success story but I guess it's the first I've heard of it. My question is how do you luck into the ultimate fuck it off way of getting a book deal? I guess using phrases like "fuck it off" probably don't enhance the odds that some philanthropic publisher will decide your online ramblings are something that would be gobbled up by the masses in print form.
Or who knows--maybe they would be intrigued by the fuck it off philosophy--after all, isn't it just another way of following "The Secret"? God knows that philosophy was apparently book-worthy, not to mention DVD-worthy and product-worthy to the tune of millions. But then again, what better proof is there that The Secret--or, better stated, my beloved Augusten Burroughs' "Magical Thinking"--works? Write it and they will read it...and pay tons for the privilege.
Anyway, since it is highly unlikely HarperCollins will happen to stumble upon my blog and decide I'm the next Bridget Jones I guess I better return to the writing I'm getting paid to do--which, at this particular moment is writing a "news item" about the availability and purpose of the online financial reporting capabilities. Then another news item about the inclement weather policy and yet another detailing the ins and outs of reporting partial day leave. Maybe those gems will be book-worthy.
So I'm reading Web Content Report right now and in the "What's Working" section, where they feature random sites, blogs, trends, etc, they mention "The Non-Blogger's Blogger," someone called Mimi Smartypants. They say she decided to keep an online journal of "every silly little thought to enter her entirely too witty 30-year old brain..." which ultimately got published in book form.
Isn't writing every silly little thought to enter one's mind the definition of blogging? What makes her a "non-bloggers blogger"? Apparently what makes her one is the fact that, either by her own initiative or just by chance--it doesn't specify which--her journal entries were eventually published. Web Content Report goes on to say "Yes, everyone has a blog now...(but) everything this young woman writes down is colored with humor and shaded with charisma." Um, isn't that true of almost every blog worth reading? What makes her so special her blog is--to steal a phrase from Seinfeld--"book-worthy"?
I guess this is hardly a new trend and surely this isn't the only blog-to-book success story but I guess it's the first I've heard of it. My question is how do you luck into the ultimate fuck it off way of getting a book deal? I guess using phrases like "fuck it off" probably don't enhance the odds that some philanthropic publisher will decide your online ramblings are something that would be gobbled up by the masses in print form.
Or who knows--maybe they would be intrigued by the fuck it off philosophy--after all, isn't it just another way of following "The Secret"? God knows that philosophy was apparently book-worthy, not to mention DVD-worthy and product-worthy to the tune of millions. But then again, what better proof is there that The Secret--or, better stated, my beloved Augusten Burroughs' "Magical Thinking"--works? Write it and they will read it...and pay tons for the privilege.
Anyway, since it is highly unlikely HarperCollins will happen to stumble upon my blog and decide I'm the next Bridget Jones I guess I better return to the writing I'm getting paid to do--which, at this particular moment is writing a "news item" about the availability and purpose of the online financial reporting capabilities. Then another news item about the inclement weather policy and yet another detailing the ins and outs of reporting partial day leave. Maybe those gems will be book-worthy.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sadly the black vs white dance off didn't happen because Matthew refuses to go into Blockbuster. He has an irrational fear of seeing "Chuckie"--that goofy red-haired doll in Child's Play. Crazy. Anyway, I think I'll have to order the movies from Netflix because the chances of getting him inside Blockbuster are slim to none. All thanks to Mimi once--like 4 years ago--helpfully pointing out the cover of that particular DVD which features, even on the spine, Chuckie's face.
Mimi herself used to have a mortal fear of Chuckie, too, but I think she's over it now. Her current fears/obsessions are staph infections and, she announced today, brown recluse spider bites. Go figure. Oh, and thanks YouTube for providing fodder for her irrational fears.
Lately I've come to the conclusion that Mimi is actually Wednesday Adams' doppelganger--at least in terms of personality. While other girls are happily playing Club Penguin or some virtual pony game, Mimi is inexplicably googling stuff like "staff infections" and "brown recluse bites." Warm and fuzzy she is not, but she is oddly entertaining.
Speaking of entertaining, Patrick and I went to see Untraceable today and it ROCKED. I swear it was as good as The Silence of the Lambs. I gave it a straight up 10, but Patrick gave it only a 7--one point off because of a scene portraying something disgustingly cruel to animals (it was gross and sad) and the other two points off for Diane Lane's character doing something stupid at the end. I wasn't really expecting much because Yahoo gave it a C- but I definitely give it an A.
I thought it was very well done and very suspenseful. It does make you think about the whole social media fixation and how small it makes the world seem--or at least it makes me think about it. I won't give away the whole plot, but part of it is that a killer runs streaming video of his victim's deaths and the pace of the torture is dependent on the number of visitors to the site. Just like reality, it goes viral and the number of hits skyrocket--as does the speed with which the victims die.
Anyway, first Mimi, then Patrick and now Matthew are all over me like flies on $hit so I better go put them to bed (except for Patrick).
Mimi herself used to have a mortal fear of Chuckie, too, but I think she's over it now. Her current fears/obsessions are staph infections and, she announced today, brown recluse spider bites. Go figure. Oh, and thanks YouTube for providing fodder for her irrational fears.
Lately I've come to the conclusion that Mimi is actually Wednesday Adams' doppelganger--at least in terms of personality. While other girls are happily playing Club Penguin or some virtual pony game, Mimi is inexplicably googling stuff like "staff infections" and "brown recluse bites." Warm and fuzzy she is not, but she is oddly entertaining.
Speaking of entertaining, Patrick and I went to see Untraceable today and it ROCKED. I swear it was as good as The Silence of the Lambs. I gave it a straight up 10, but Patrick gave it only a 7--one point off because of a scene portraying something disgustingly cruel to animals (it was gross and sad) and the other two points off for Diane Lane's character doing something stupid at the end. I wasn't really expecting much because Yahoo gave it a C- but I definitely give it an A.
I thought it was very well done and very suspenseful. It does make you think about the whole social media fixation and how small it makes the world seem--or at least it makes me think about it. I won't give away the whole plot, but part of it is that a killer runs streaming video of his victim's deaths and the pace of the torture is dependent on the number of visitors to the site. Just like reality, it goes viral and the number of hits skyrocket--as does the speed with which the victims die.
Anyway, first Mimi, then Patrick and now Matthew are all over me like flies on $hit so I better go put them to bed (except for Patrick).
Friday, January 25, 2008
Ain't nothing going on but the rent here these days. I hate winter. Cassie just called and left me a message (I swear I will call you back today!) telling me how crazy cold it is in Chicago--I'm going to visit her in two weeks. You know that's some sisterly love because I hate being cold more than almost anything in the world. Maybe more than anything--the other things being traffic, crowds and REALLY hot, humid weather. She said I better plan on bringing layers and layers and layers and a face mask. Great. But I'm still looking forward to going, mostly to see her but also because I get to be executive wife and stay in the suite that Patrick gets because he's BMOC now. Sadly I think he's getting the suite without a jacuzzi. Oh well, a free hotel suite is a free hotel suite I guess.
Speaking of free hotel suites, because The Wynn screwed up so many things when we stayed there for our wedding in August the GM has graciously given us two free nights in a Salon Suite . The room in that picture is the room we got married in, actually--in front of that little white half-moon table behind the sofa on the left. The suite has that huge room, a dining table, a wet bar, a powder room, a bedroom and the biggest, fanciest bathroom you've ever seen. Oh--and a massage room. It usually costs $750 a night but we get to stay there for two nights for free because of my flair for complaining.
Why I'm not getting paid to be a professional complainer I don't know because as non-confrontational as I am in regular life, for whatever reason I am very aggressive--er, I mean, assertive--when it comes to service related issues. I've gotten discounts, room upgrades, free food, free champagne, free flowers--once even a box of Godiva chocolates delivered by courier from Lord & Taylor when some sales clerk looked at me wrong back when I was in my postpartum crazy period. I can't for the life of me remember what I had complained about but I honestly think I remember it being because the sales person got my name wrong or some other retrospectively innocuous thing. I do, however, remember the couriered Godiva.
Before this Wynn suite score, which I think trumps anything up to this point, my finest moment was when I got me and Cassie free massages at the Canyon Ranch spa in the Venetian in Las Vegas. All because I complained that I could hear a toilet flush during my massage--that and some construction noise. I'm telling you, ask and you shall receive should always be your motto when you are wronged in any way by a service provider of any sort.
Anyway, in the meantime until we start suite-hopping, we'll probably be either sitting around the house or going to movies. I think we're going to see No Country for Old Men tonight. I have suggested that we also have a black vs. white dance movie dance-off this weekend: Step Up versus Stomp the Yard. Which one do you think will win?
Speaking of free hotel suites, because The Wynn screwed up so many things when we stayed there for our wedding in August the GM has graciously given us two free nights in a Salon Suite . The room in that picture is the room we got married in, actually--in front of that little white half-moon table behind the sofa on the left. The suite has that huge room, a dining table, a wet bar, a powder room, a bedroom and the biggest, fanciest bathroom you've ever seen. Oh--and a massage room. It usually costs $750 a night but we get to stay there for two nights for free because of my flair for complaining.
Why I'm not getting paid to be a professional complainer I don't know because as non-confrontational as I am in regular life, for whatever reason I am very aggressive--er, I mean, assertive--when it comes to service related issues. I've gotten discounts, room upgrades, free food, free champagne, free flowers--once even a box of Godiva chocolates delivered by courier from Lord & Taylor when some sales clerk looked at me wrong back when I was in my postpartum crazy period. I can't for the life of me remember what I had complained about but I honestly think I remember it being because the sales person got my name wrong or some other retrospectively innocuous thing. I do, however, remember the couriered Godiva.
Before this Wynn suite score, which I think trumps anything up to this point, my finest moment was when I got me and Cassie free massages at the Canyon Ranch spa in the Venetian in Las Vegas. All because I complained that I could hear a toilet flush during my massage--that and some construction noise. I'm telling you, ask and you shall receive should always be your motto when you are wronged in any way by a service provider of any sort.
Anyway, in the meantime until we start suite-hopping, we'll probably be either sitting around the house or going to movies. I think we're going to see No Country for Old Men tonight. I have suggested that we also have a black vs. white dance movie dance-off this weekend: Step Up versus Stomp the Yard. Which one do you think will win?
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