Forget Waiting for a Book Deal--You Can Create and Sell Your Own Book

My friend Renee is my guru of stuff like The Secret and The 4-Hour Work Week--basically all that power of positive thinking stuff that most people think is a crock but I personally buy into. She reads my blog and knows about my obsession with the book deal because she sent me this link.

Unless I'm reading it wrong it appears you can write a book and, for a cost of $3.66 per book with fewer than 108 pages (or $1.50 plus $.02 per book if it's more than 108 pages) print it and sell it on Amazon or wherever you want.

Um, how cool is that?

Now that we know there is the actual option of writing a book we all need to think of something to write and do it, if for no other reason than curiosity. If a random nobody writes a book and manages to market it successfully enough I suppose it would be possible to create your own million dollar book deal.

For instance--I have been listening to the audiobook of The Secret (also kindly given to me by Renee--thanks if you're reading this!) and Jack Canfield, the guy who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul, tells the story of how he decided he wanted to earn $100,000 in a year and dreamed up the idea for that book and went for it. Here's his bio now:

Jack Canfield, has worked his way from being a teacher to holding a Guinness world record for having seven books simultaneously on The New York Times® Best Sellers list. As a coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, he's sold more than 80 million books. Canfield has traveled to over 21 countries, delivering hundreds of keynote speeches, workshops and trainings each year. Canfield has appeared on numerous television shows. Today, he shares his success strategies with companies and associations worldwide

The only problem is that, if I apply Jack Canfield's theories to myself, I can already tell you that I would never succeed at building my own million-dollar empire because the only part of it I'd want is the million dollars.

I don't actually want to be an entrepreneur or build an empire. I don't want to travel or do any public speaking. I want the structure of going to an office every day and having someone else worry about the details. So if I apply the principles of The Secret to myself I've already shot any chances of being a passive millionaire--or any kind of millionaire--because I don't actually WANT to have that life and the universe only sends you what you want.

Oh well. The universe sent me a cool new job and the link to this self publishing thing so the message is that if I ever want to publish a book I can just do it myself. The universe also probably knows I have no initiative beyond writing this blog so won't be publishing a book anytime soon, unless it's a book of short short stories. Yes, that is an actual writing genre, by the way.

Obviously, the concept of short short stories was tailor-made for me; it may as well be called FIO fiction. Read these stories and tell me you don't think they're a stroke of FIO genius.

Crazy Successful or Just Crazy?

Lately I've been reading/listening to a lot of books about forgetting the rules and just making things to happen. Rhonda Byrne's The Secret, Timothy Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweek, Steve Chandler's 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself and various other motivational speakers/authors. The common theme among them: throw convention out the window, rules don't matter, you are the master of your own destiny, etc. I guess it equates to what is known as the "entrepreneurial spirit."

I listen to/read this stuff and get really hyped up--"Yeah! I'm just going to make things happen for myself! F the rules--I'll write my own rules!" I can see why these people get paid a ton of money to speak or write books--because the fact that I and millions of other people are listening to/reading them is living proof that, yes, it is possible to write your own rules and design your life to your exact specifications.

(Patrick--who may as well be named Eyore for these purposes--totally disagrees with my enthusiasm, by the way. He says they’re all full of shit and anyone who tried to do what they say would immediately be fired and their lives forever ruined.)

One thing that occurred to me one day, though, while double-dosing on Timothy Ferriss in the car and Penelope Trunk on the computer--both of them have similarly extreme stories: Trunk with her start-ups, firings, bankruptcy, and now fame and, apparently, fortune and Ferriss with his quitting Princeton, losing jobs, starting companies and working 24/7, etc.

Then cut to me, sitting at my quarterly appointment with the psychopharmacologist, listening to him tick off his standard list of questions: Have you been more active than usual? Reduced need for sleep? Risk-taking behavior? Delusions of grandeur? If I were to answer yes to any or, god forbid, all of these questions, I'd be walking out of there with a prescription for Lithium to quell what would diagnostically qualify as a manic episode. I never did anything close to any of this stuff they've done yet I am supposedly bipolar II and on medication for life.

So here’s my question: don’t you essentially have to be bipolar to be a successful entrepreneur? Don’t all these people get to the top by working 24/7 (reduced need for sleep), doing what other people would never dream of doing like quitting jobs to start a business (risk-taking behavior), and of course thinking that the reason they can do this stuff and succeed is because they’re echelons above the common person (delusions of grandeur)? What would happen if they were to wind up in the shrink’s office and handed a sheaf of prescriptions—would they still be on top of the world, writing best-selling books and making millions with their speaking engagements? Or would the meds pop their manic balloons and send them back to regular desk jobs?

Write it and they will read?

So I'm reading Web Content Report right now and in the "What's Working" section, where they feature random sites, blogs, trends, etc, they mention "The Non-Blogger's Blogger," someone called Mimi Smartypants. They say she decided to keep an online journal of "every silly little thought to enter her entirely too witty 30-year old brain..." which ultimately got published in book form.

Isn't writing every silly little thought to enter one's mind the definition of blogging? What makes her a "non-bloggers blogger"? Apparently what makes her one is the fact that, either by her own initiative or just by chance--it doesn't specify which--her journal entries were eventually published. Web Content Report goes on to say "Yes, everyone has a blog now...(but) everything this young woman writes down is colored with humor and shaded with charisma." Um, isn't that true of almost every blog worth reading? What makes her so special her blog is--to steal a phrase from Seinfeld--"book-worthy"?

I guess this is hardly a new trend and surely this isn't the only blog-to-book success story but I guess it's the first I've heard of it. My question is how do you luck into the ultimate fuck it off way of getting a book deal? I guess using phrases like "fuck it off" probably don't enhance the odds that some philanthropic publisher will decide your online ramblings are something that would be gobbled up by the masses in print form.

Or who knows--maybe they would be intrigued by the fuck it off philosophy--after all, isn't it just another way of following "The Secret"? God knows that philosophy was apparently book-worthy, not to mention DVD-worthy and product-worthy to the tune of millions. But then again, what better proof is there that The Secret--or, better stated, my beloved Augusten Burroughs' "Magical Thinking"--works? Write it and they will read it...and pay tons for the privilege.

Anyway, since it is highly unlikely HarperCollins will happen to stumble upon my blog and decide I'm the next Bridget Jones I guess I better return to the writing I'm getting paid to do--which, at this particular moment is writing a "news item" about the availability and purpose of the online financial reporting capabilities. Then another news item about the inclement weather policy and yet another detailing the ins and outs of reporting partial day leave. Maybe those gems will be book-worthy.