Forever Young and Beautiful....Or Else

I meant to write about this a long time ago but meaning to write something and finding the time to actually write it are, of course, not always compatible with each other.

Anyway, about a month ago my mom mentioned that her friend's friend had passed away and her obituary was in the Washington Post. This was a woman my mom had periodically mentioned for years--always in the context of how gorgeous she was.

So I check out her obituary and was half amused/half freaked out how the whole thing seemed to sum up her life's accomplishment as...being gorgeous. I mean, this is DC, a town where it's more about being smart or accomplished or successful than it is about how you look. I mean, of course you have to be thin and attractive and young-looking--but just to look the part of the yuppie you are. I could maybe see an obituary like this in LA or something, but I'd never seen the Washington Post run an obituary basically gushing on how beautiful a woman was. I wasn't aware that DC was the kind of city that had "it" girls. But what do I know--I live in Olney.

As off putting as an entire obituary centered primarily on how gorgeous and glamorous a regular person/non-celebrity was, one thing was even more freaky: she apparently had never revealed her age to anyone, including her husband.

Um, what? I sincerely hope the man was just playing dumb and honoring his wife's memory by not revealing that he'd known all along, but his quote sounded pretty convincing. Why would he lie about something like that? I had to smirk that despite the fact that the author gushed on and on about how wonderful and noble this woman was, he didn't hesitate to disrespect her life's goal of keeping her age a secret. If I'd gone to such great pains to hide my age my entire adult life I would hope that I could at least go down as having been "eternally young and dynamic."

At any rate, just a week or so before that I had read a blog about "botoxing your resume" that talked about how looking young and attractive are apparently vital to a professional woman's continued success in the work world. I mean, which is it--are we supposed to be teaching our daughters that looks don't matter and that what counts is what's "on the inside," or are we supposed to be telling them that actually, looks do matter and they better keep those fingers firmly plunged down their throats and start saving for the plastic surgery they'll need to augment their resumes? I can't keep up.

Apparently, what we're supposed to do is teach them that looks don't matter, grades and personality and sports skills do--while we navigate the dangers of looking our age and do what's necessary to stay young and beautiful at any cost. After all, according to Charla Krupp, author of How Not to Look Old “Looking hip is not just about vanity anymore, it’s critical to every woman’s personal and financial survival.”

Does this mean that I can write off my Botox as a business-related expense?