Holiday

I can't imagine what I'd do all day if I didn't work. Just this one day is boring and that's with the kids. Then again, maybe that's why the day sucked ;) Just kidding.

But seriously---I used to be home all day, every day and can't remember what I did to pass the time. Actually, now that I think of it, I pretty much felt this way every day back then--but it never occurred to me that maybe I should have gone back to work. Oh well, live and learn....and it's not like work doesn't suck in its own way much of the time too.

The main saving grace about work--aside from the paycheck, of course--is that at least there's stuff going on to make the time pass more quickly than it does if your days are limited to gym trips, Target runs and....actually, that pretty much summed up time when I was home with my kids. Unless you count the part I'm not mentioning, that is, but that's another story for another time and place. At least for me that's how it felt--no offense to women who are home and love it. I wouldn't mind having an hour or two to spend at the gym every day like I used to way back in the day, but not if it meant going back to that way of life.

I'm currently trying to decide which is the lesser of two evils: a job that's busy, challenging and therefore sometimes stressful or a job that's so S-L-O-W and non-taxing that it's ostensibly stress-free. My current job is the latter--occasionally I have something interesting going on but for the most part I'm in kind of a too many cooks in the kitchen situation; e.g. I was hired to do a job (writing) but it turns out that they really didn't need--or want--someone else to share the writing assignments so I've been pretty much left out in the cold with regard to the job I was hired to do. Maybe I shouldn't complain...but of course if you know me you know I do--incessantly.

Every place I've ever worked before I was seen as this essential person, totally competent, everyone praising me and telling me how smart and great I was. I never worked in a company as large as the one I work for now, which, I'm coming to realize, makes a big difference in terms of individual attention and recognition. Now I get some occasional scrap of praise, but for the most part as long as I show up to work every day nobody really cares if I do anything at all--and when I do actually do stuff, most often it goes unnoticed. I admit that lately I've been testing it more and more, trying to see exactly how little work I can do and still get by without reprimand. So far it's turning out that it actually possible to put forth about 5% effort without any ill effects. Translation: my productivity has basically come to a screeching halt and nobody has noticed or commented. Lately I liken my job to Homer Simpsons'--show up to work, sit in a chair all day, go home, then repeat again the next day. Minus the doughnuts, though.

Meanwhile, there's Patrick with a huge job with tons of responsibility and I sort of envy him....I think. There I am at my desk all day, listening to the lightbulbs hum, blogging or what have you while Patrick is negotiating multi-million dollar contracts, putting out constant fires and spending about half his work life in meetings. Yes, he's stressed...but he also makes more than twice as much as I make and very, very rarely has to work evenings or weekends. He does have to put up with a million problems, which I definitely don't envy, and also has to supervise people, which is something I never want to have to worry about.

Anyway, long story short...I don't know if I should just be grateful to have the quintessential government job or if the fact that my job has become numbingly boring means I could do with a little more work even if it meant more stress.