If eye talk freaks you out then skip this post

(and mom, you definitely need to skip it!)

Last Friday I went to get fitted for contacts and spent a dreamy 30 or more minutes roaming the aisles of the grocery store, amazed I could, at long last, clearly see all the way across the store without glasses. I have spent the last 4 years battling glasses--stubbornly thinking that if I didn't give in and put them on for stuff like grocery shopping or movie-watching my eyes would eventually adjust and I'd be able to see perfectly. I can see fine close up and even not so close, but for distances like across a room or a store or whatever I could see but just not clearly enough to make out signs or faces without squinting. I think my vision is about 20/40, which is definitely a functional level of sight, especially when it's bright out or a space is well-lit, but in twilight or darkness, distance vision isn't a picnic.

So now I can see more clearly than I've been able to see for 4 years...ever since I got lasik.

Don't get me wrong--even though I had complications with lasik (DLK and epithelial ingrowth) I think I would do it again. Before lasik I couldn't see my glasses on the nightstand by the bed, couldn't read a book without glasses or contacts--basically couldn't see much at all. It was a horrible feeling, knowing that if I were somewhere and my contact fell out or my glasses broke I'd be up a creek. At least now I could definitely function perfectly well without glasses or contacts if I had to.

But it is still disappointing to have gone through the whole ordeal only to, in the end, be back in contacts. It's not like I went to some low-budget place or anything, either--I went to one of the top eye doctors in the DC area, Neil Martin. Of course I knew there were risks but you never think they'll happen to you, right?

The procedure itself wasn't bad at all, thanks, in part, to good ol' valium. I sat up afterwards and it was a miracle--I could see the clock across the room. I thought I was fine and thought the white fog that covered my field of vision was just part of the normal healing process. The next day at my follow up appointment I learned that it wasn't in fact normal; I had DLK (see above). I had to use special eye drops every 2 hours around the clock for a week--that, in addition to the saline drops I had to use almost constantly because my eyes were dry as prunes.

I went back a week later and the DLK was still there--so I had to use even more drops and go on oral steroids. A few days later the fog seemed to lift some but was replaced with the tiniest hint of a weird sensation. Turns out that sensation was cells growing under the flap--epithelial ingrowth.

I had to have my flaps re-lifted and scraped to remove the cells (see link to epithelial ingrowth page above). It was the most disgusting feeling in the world--imagine the dentist scraping the plaque off your teeth, then apply that same sensation to your eyes. More rounds of drops, etc...finally my eyes were fine and I could see almost perfectly.

Post-lasik vision is a little weird even without complications--something about the contrast of stuff is kind of off so it's harder to see in low light, or to distinguish different shades of green, say, when you're gardening or shades of gray when it's dim and rainy out. I do see the halos around lights, but I think I always must have because it doesn't bother me. The worst part of the lasik aftermath saga was the dry eyes; to this day they're still very dry. They were dry to begin with, which predisposes you to complications from lasik, but Dr. Martin thought I'd be fine. Lately the dryness had gotten much better, but for most of the past 4 years my eyes were dry, dry, dry. I did everything from daily hot compresses, oral antibiotics (to treat blepharitis, which who knows if I even had but they threw every possible fix at me), and all manner of drops and ointments to punctal plugs (tiny plugs they put in your tear ducts to preserve whatever tears you have). I have learned that the remedies for severe dry eyes are not that effective, which doesn't bode well for people with serious, chronic dry eyes. I am lucky that mine pretty much resolved on their own, even though it took over 3 years.

to the tune of needing to use eye drops with mineral oil in them and/or gross Vaseline-like stuff in them at night

Even after all that I hoped that they could do one last "enhancement" to bring my vision to 20/20 but--shocker--they said I wasn't a good candidate for another lasik procedure. I could have gone on to have PRK but that sounded too gross and painful for even me.

So here I am, back to contacts--but glad to have 20/20 non-glasses vision at long last.